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Land of Milk and Honey 1971
The circle is complete as Pierre Étaix's filmmaking oeuvre goes from sweet to bittersweet to bitter(sweet-ish). One of the most scathing things I've seen in quite awhile. I posiively would have LOVED to have been a fly on the wall when Étaix showed this to folks. I like to imagine it would have ruffled the French in much the same way that Buñuel's L'Age d'Or did, just with a different focus.
It's scattershot and messy, for sure, but also does…
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The Great Gatsby 2013
As melodrama, it's okay. As spectacle, it's defiantly empty and over-the-top. As an adaptation of one the "Great American Novels?"
It's meh.
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Beyond the Hills 2013
One of my favorite heathen subgenres: #Nunsploitation
Romania; it's depressing. Orthodoxy; it sucks. Society; it's stuck.
Sins? All of the above.
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Upstream Color 2013
Shane Carruth's Upstream Color is the best film of 2013 so far (by a wide margin) and easily establishes itself as a modern American independent classic. It has been nine years since Shane Carruth emerged out of nowhere to become the toast of Sundance with Primer and this film is an improvement in almost every conceivable way over his debut feature. Upstream Color is a more mature, intelligent, engaging and moving artistic statement from the former mathematician and software engineer…
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Texas Chainsaw 3D 2013
If this is the best we can get from (yet another) Texas Chainsaw movie and reboot/remake/sequel/prequel/whatever, it's time to pack it in. I know we shouldn't look for a lot of morality in modern horror, but this film's narrative twists and "morality" is recognizable only to the mentally retarded and serial killers.
Yeah, "do your thing, cuz!" Nevermind that long blood trail leading to the wine cellar or the fact that you killed my boyfriend, best friend and a bunch…
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Sightseers 2012
Fantastic dark comedy and satire. Squarely British. Lots of great lines, grisly killings and one very cold-blooded ginger. Gnarly.
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Safe Haven 2013
or, How I Met Your Ghost Mother.
So many questions remain and the final twist casts the whole movie in a new light. It's still terrible, but at least all that thunderingly dull postcard nothingness is transformed into a bat shit crazy chick flick. Three hashtags are the only way to describe this new Lasse Hallström / Nicholas Sparks cinematic collaboration:
#Amazeballs, #Widowporn & #GhostMom
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The Frankenstein Theory 2013
It gets a full star for the first hour and the two entertainingly smart-ass (and usually right on the money) cameramen. It also gets another half star for not being completely ugly.
Everything else about it is pure junk. Dull, predictable, frustrating junk.
The sad thing is that here's a movie that would have probably benefited from being more in the vein of a more ludicrous SyFy "B" movie. It acts like Troll Hunter. It wants to be Troll Hunter...
...but it ain't no Troll Hunter.
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Upstream Color 2013
What a special, special film. Beautiful, engaging, moving, intelligent, deep and dense...best 2013 movie I've seen...and it's not that close. Don't have the proper words at this hour, but this certainly won't be the last time I watch Shane Carruth's masterpiece this year.
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The Place Beyond the Pines 2013
Sins of the Father, the Son and the Holy Gosling. Derek Cianfrance's imperfect generational triptych of tragic consequences and ironic destinies is bloated, uneven and a little ham-handed. And yet...
...and yet, I can't help but admire and root for its ambitions. it gets points for trying and for a first hour that is genuinely interesting and visually arresting (mostly due to Ryan Gosling - aka The Coolest Actor in the World. He might not have his scorpion jacket on,…
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The Life of Oharu 1952
Imagine the worst things that could happen to women in a traditional, medieval patriarchal society. Then multiply by three. Sprinkle in the darkest bits of humor imaginable and spread it all out over 2 hours and 15 minutes.
The most depressing tale of a goblin cat from hell you'll ever see. It's about as cheery as pouring molten lava on your face for 2 and a half hours. It's excellently made and is the full embodiment of how Mizoguchi felt…
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John Dies at the End 2013
Amusing without ever becoming hilarious, trippy without ever rising to transcendent, John Dies at the End is weird. Really fucking weird. Enjoyable, amiable, trippy, "B"-movie weird.
But it's not much more than that.
