What did I learn from Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol? Let me see. There are a lot of BMWs in Dubai and Mumbai (coincidence?) and they have safety features you can trust, and cool start controls, and cool wheels and cool grill-lights, what? I haven't seen such gross product placement in a while. Oh yeah, and iPhones. iPhones are cool, iPads are cool, apparently USB cables are cool; but iPhones in rubberised cases? I guess they might knock them around a bit, but still: uncool (like that haircut).

The gadgets were excellently rendered, but severely over the top. I guess I prefer more human spy action. Gadgets became long set-pieces, if not missions in themselves; I suppose they're cool, but do they have lasting coolness? I remember the free running at the start of Casino Royale; am I going to remember anglepoise wall? And an under-equipped, disavowed (keyword) mission force that still has every gadget they could conceivably need… I think I would have been more impressed by a make-shift demo of skills than a triumph of high-tech aids. Assassin chick was hot though.

What else did I learn? Tom Cruise can take some hard knocks. Really hard knocks. I counted at least two occasions where he appears to whack either his head or torso into a ledge at speed. He does end up pretty hurt, but not the face.

Also I felt like I hadn't studied sufficiently. Have I missed an Mi3.5 or was I just not paying attention to matters of the heart?

As action stories go; it has lots of action, goes all over the world, and has some truly epic scenes in and around the tallest building in the world. Holy vertigo bat man. Before the film I turned and asked a friend if the film was going to have any scenes taking advantage of IMAX, like The Dark Knight did. Yes, it seemed to.

Perhaps nothing lasts long enough to build up any tension. I just didn't feel engaged. Even the save-the-world moment seemed lacklustre.

In the end I think this is more Mi2 than Mi3, and on that score it's disappointing.