If they'd turned "The Hobbit: The Book" into one massive four-and-a-half-hour long movie it would still be dorky, and silly, and probably bloated. But, it would be packed to the gills with all of the crazy crap: Dragons! Giant Spiders! Trolls! Dwarves! Bear Guys! War! Stealing! Gollum! Goblins! Instead, they made three progressively bloated, unfocused three-hour borefests, with such slack pacing and paper thin characters that I forgot who they were when they started being killed in this one.