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  • The Intern

    The Intern 2015

    ★★ Watched 29 Jul, 2016

    Long, predictable, and boring. It's completely by-the-numbers. A feel-good movie that takes place in a magical world where De Niro descends from the sky using an umbrella and proceeds to be perfect at everything. He's always helpful. Everyone likes him. He only fixes problems, never causes them.

    This is about as cozy as it gets.

  • Maps to the Stars

    Maps to the Stars 2014

    ★★★ Watched 27 Jul, 2016

    "You don’t have to worry about me starting any more fires: they put my pilot light out."

    Contains some great acting. Everyone's fucking crazy, and the only one in the movie who isn't a selfish asshole is the one not chasing fame. What she does towards the end of the movie can only be considered a public service.

    Everyone's trying to escape sins of the past, whether the sins are their own or inherited. Havana strives to become the mother…

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  • The Thing

    The Thing 1982

    ★★★★★ Added

    This is one of my favorite films ever. It is the perfect blend of sci-fi and horror. The special effects are so well done that even decades later they remain a disturbing sight; modern movies should watch The Thing and weep in shame.

    The characters, the paranoia, the sense of claustrophobic doom, it's all brilliantly done.

    I watched this movie when I was decently young, so it holds a special place in my heart as being one of the few films that ever managed to scare me.

  • Army of Darkness

    Army of Darkness 1992

    ★★★★ Rewatched 20 Aug, 2013 4

    Just found my MGM Region 3 Director's Cut buried in a pile of DVDs. Groovy.

    The movie is 93 minutes long with some alternate takes and the original ending. It's awesome, though I do miss "Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun."

    Army of Darkness is a ridiculous, campy, over-the-top slapstick comedy in which the goofy Ash manages to make life a lot more difficult for everyone he meets. There really is nothing like a Bruce Campbell one-liner.