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  • Kingsman: The Secret Service 2015

    ★★★★ Watched 15 Feb, 2015

    This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Fuckin' A, this movie is fun. It is crazy and over-the-top and funny and violent and extremely enjoyable to watch.

    I think Colin Firth kicking ass is one of the hottest things I have ever seen. Especially his murderous rampage in the church. I mean, holy shit.

    Gazelle is pretty awesome, too. Sucks that she dies (in a kind of pathetic way: not one of her legs gets chopped off in the fight!), so if they do a sequel we…

  • The Merchant of Venice 2004

    ★½ Watched 13 Dec, 2014

    This movie adaptation looks good, with the costumes and setting and all that, but otherwise... meh.

    The pacing is bad, with many scenes dragging. The courtroom scene, which should have been engaging, is just boring. Her law-talk and explanations go on forever. Then, the scene where she and her friend are all, "our rings! our rings!" goes on forever, too; it's annoying rather than amusing.

    Al Pacino is the best thing about this film adaptation, but even he can't save it. Jeremy Irons doesn't contribute much, and apparently I really didn't like the girls.

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  • The Thing 1982

    ★★★★★ Added

    This is one of my favorite films ever. It is the perfect blend of sci-fi and horror. The special effects are so well done; modern movies should watch The Thing and weep in shame.

    The characters, the paranoia, the sense of claustrophobic doom, it's all brilliantly done.

    I watched this movie when I was decently young, so it holds a special place in my heart as being one of the few films that ever managed to scare me.

  • Army of Darkness 1992

    ★★★★ Rewatched 20 Aug, 2013 4

    Just found my MGM Region 3 Director's Cut buried in a pile of DVDs. Groovy.

    The movie is 93 minutes long with some alternate takes and the original ending. It's awesome, though I do miss "Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun."

    Army of Darkness is a ridiculous, campy, over-the-top slapstick comedy in which the goofy Ash manages to make life a lot more difficult for everyone he meets. There really is nothing like a Bruce Campbell one-liner.