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  • Little Quentin 2010

    ★★★★ Watched 18 Feb, 2015

    "Animals are our friends. But they won't pick you up at the airport." -Bobcat Goldthwait

    "But they will help you bury a stripper." -Me

  • Hardware 1990

    ★½ Watched 15 Feb, 2015

    Remember that guy in high school? You know the one. The stoner who smoked a U-Haul trailer full of pot every day? Maybe you were that guy. He thought everything was hella-significant and saw subversive meaning in every chemistry assignment or civics reading or cafeteria lunch. Well, believe it or not, Bob and Harvey Weinstein gave that guy over one million dollars to make a post-apocalyptic robot slasher flick set in a cluttered studio apartment and based on a short…

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  • Warm Bodies 2013

    ★½ Watched 13 Dec, 2012

    INT. MOVIE STUDIO CONF. ROOM - - DAY

    BJ, a studio head, enters room. Three interchangeable producers have been seated for over an hour.

    BJ:
    Hey Connors! How's it hangin' pal? I banged your ex last night. My complements to YOUR plastic surgeon and HER palates instructor!

    TOADY 1 (CONNORS):
    HA! Good one BJ.

    TOADY 2:
    OOOH! BAM! You are the man BJ!

    TOADY 3:
    Score one for BJ!

    BJ:
    Alright, enough bullshit. Business! So… we're wrapping up that Twilight…

  • Shaun of the Dead 2004

    ★★★★★ Rewatched 31 Oct, 2012 4

    This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I've dreaded this moment for a long time. How do you quantify something that you love beyond reason? I've loved Shaun Of The Dead ever since I saw it in the theater for the first time. Actually, about ten minutes in, I was pretty certain that this was going to be one of my new instant favorites.

    I guess the main reason that I love it is that, of all horror movies, the zombie sub-genre is my favorite. Edgar Wright…