What to Expect When You're Expecting 2012 ½

This took all my years of film training not to turn it off within the opening ten minutes and it never improved. In fact if I was a woman I’d be offended that this is the sort of shit Hollywood tries to shove in my face in the name of entertainment. It’s a horrible excuse for a film in every conceivable way from its excruciatingly unfunny attempts at humour to its ultra-conservative message (notice which couple suffer from a miscarriage - no doubt punishment for getting pregnant from a one night stand).

The five interconnected stories about the trials and tribulations of pregnancy are predominantly played for laughs and follow the same template - the woman is confident about wanting a child whilst the silly man is insecure and/or stupid about impending parenthood. Due to the abundance of nauseatingly awful characters it is a film that can only ever deal with the subject of pregnancy and parenthood in superficial platitudes - insecurity subsides when they have the big bundle of joy in their arms - whilst its structure feels ridiculously drawn out and repetitive.

When the film lurches into more serious territory it falls completely flat, not only because it sits at odds with the woeful slapstick and predictable pregnancy gags but because it is handled in such a hamfisted and frankly laughable manner. For a feelgood movie why did it make me feel like ending it all?