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  • Jack Frost 1997

    ★½ Watched 24 Oct, 2014

    Stumbled across this in a gin-infused drunken haze. I want whatever the director was trippin' on when he made this shit.

    An extra half-star for an ugly ginger kid you just want to punch and Shannon Elizabeth giving a career-best performance. As evident in a certain bathroom scene - "Christmas came a little early this year!".

    Misogyny has never been this damn hilarious!

  • Day of the Dead 1985

    ★★★★★ Watched 21 Oct, 2014

    Romero moves underground.

    "You ain't never gonna figure it out, just like they never figured out why the stars are where they're at. It ain't mankind's job to figure that stuff out. So what you're doing is a waste of time. And time is all we got left."

    Of the original trilogy, Day was always my least favourite even though I spent my visits to my local video store staring at the rather cool VHS rental sleeve - a lilac…

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  • Batman & Robin 1997

    Rewatched 05 Jan, 2013 12

    Spectacularly shite.

    So much so that Arnie's daft performance is the only salvageable aspect that can be scraped from this plate of visual diarrhea.

    There's so many wrong things at play here:

    1. Alicia Silverstone handles the english language like she just suffered a severe stroke.
    2. Uma Thurman is about as sexy as Jimmy Saville in a children's hospital ward.
    3. Chris O'Donnell has the charisma of a toilet seat.
    4. George Clooney's leather nipples.
    5. Bat bombs. Bat…

  • Birth 2004

    ★★★★★ Watched 25 Jul, 2013 17

    "You're just a little boy, aren't you?"

    Birth is an elegant piece of filmmaking, delicately directed by Jonathan Glazer (Sexy Beast). It touches upon a plethora of themes that include love, loyalty, death, family, and grief but saturated in an atmosphere of supernatural oddness, yet, it's hard to place this under a certain genre. It's a stark piece of individual filmmaking that rarely comes around these days even though it echoes the likes of Kubrick.

    Still, this will split an…