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  • Diana 2013

    Watched 11 Apr, 2014

    Naomi Watts will recover from this debacle but the most devastating and depressing thing about Diana is that this toxic piece of soap-opera was clumped together by the man who directed Downfall.

    Let that sink in for a minute. Even M. Night Shyamalan would turn his head away from this guy.

  • The Last Days on Mars 2013

    ★★ Watched 10 Apr, 2014

    Mission To Mars. Red Planet. John Carter. Ghosts of Mars. Doom. Mars Needs Moms. Apart from Schwarzenegger blowing up parts of the Martian landscape in Total Recall, cinemas relationship with Mars hasn't been too successful over the past couple of decades. Why? I don't have a fucking clue, the red desert planet just seems to be a lethal injection for big-budget sci-fi blockbusters. Irish director, Ruairi Robinson, has decided to take the indie route with The Last Days on Mars

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  • Batman & Robin 1997

    Rewatched 05 Jan, 2013 13

    Spectacularly shite.

    So much so that Arnie's daft performance is the only salvageable aspect that can be scraped from this plate of visual diarrhea.

    There's so many wrong things at play here:

    1. Alicia Silverstone handles the english language like she just suffered a severe stroke.
    2. Uma Thurman is about as sexy as Jimmy Saville in a children's hospital ward.
    3. Chris O'Donnell has the charisma of a toilet seat.
    4. George Clooney's leather nipples.
    5. Bat bombs. Bat…

  • Candyman 1992

    ★★★★★ Watched 01 Mar, 2013 4

    "It was always you, Helen. Come with me and be immortal."

    This classic frightened a generation of their own bathroom mirrors. Totally under-appreciated upon it's release, even to this day but Bernard Rose's contemporary horror based on the short story, The Forbidden, by Clive Barker is a minor masterpiece and features a menacing performance from Tony Todd. While Freddy Kruger, Michael Myers and others stole the horror limelight, the Candyman not just haunt my dreams but forced me to avoid…