A terribly lame slasher that boasts some potential with an intriguing script but it's marred by unimagative direction from some hack that goes by the name of Jamie Blanks.
Why the two-star review then?! Here's why:
1. A genuinely creepy masked killer, the best since Scream.
2. The Valentine Cards: "The journey of love is an arduous trek, My love grows for you as you bleed from your neck" or, my personal favourite, "Roses are red, Violets are Blue, They'll…
Tom Welling looks fucking pretty with his shirt off, Maggie Grace wears a fucking ugly hat, Selma Blair talks in a slow gravel voice without a fucking ounce of sexual charisma, and a fucking annoying, stereotypical, offensive, token black guy named 'Spooner' gets fucking killed by some fucking awful CGI'd fog. The fucking end. Because I didn't make it to the end of this fucking muck. What's makes The Fog so fucking terrifying that it has the fucking audacity to…
So much so that Arnie's daft performance is the only salvageable aspect that can be scraped from this plate of visual diarrhea.
There's so many wrong things at play here:
1. Alicia Silverstone handles the english language like she just suffered a severe stroke.
2. Uma Thurman is about as sexy as Jimmy Saville in a children's hospital ward.
3. Chris O'Donnell has the charisma of a toilet seat.
4. George Clooney's leather nipples.
5. Bat bombs. Bat…
"It was always you, Helen. Come with me and be immortal."
This classic frightened a generation of their own bathroom mirrors. Totally under-appreciated upon it's release, even to this day but Bernard Rose's contemporary horror based on the short story, The Forbidden, by Clive Barker is a minor masterpiece and features a menacing performance from Tony Todd. While Freddy Kruger, Michael Myers and others stole the horror limelight, the Candyman not just haunt my dreams but forced me to avoid…