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  • Paycheck

    Paycheck 2003

    ★★½ Watched 24 Aug, 2015

    Wait one damn minute, how the hell did Uma Thurman get the time to cripple her hair while on the run from the FBI and armed henchmen from a corrupt corporation?!

    One plot hole too many for me.

    Ben Affleck is an absolute ride in a suit though.

  • Fantastic Four

    Fantastic Four 2015

    ★½ Watched 08 Aug, 2015

    A disaster. Not one of the worst films ever made but this Fantastic Four is a gutted carcass, a bloody mess strewn across the screen. Wondrous for all the wrong reasons and you'll be left wondering why a big Hollywood studio would allow itself to be anchored to this sinking ship of a film.

    The ugly truth is that it's an ugly film. It's perplexing how such colourful and imaginative source material was translated in such drab fashion to the…

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  • Batman & Robin

    Batman & Robin 1997

    Rewatched 05 Jan, 2013 14

    Spectacularly shite.

    So much so that Arnie's daft performance is the only salvageable aspect that can be scraped from this plate of visual diarrhea.

    There's so many wrong things at play here:

    1. Alicia Silverstone handles the english language like she just suffered a severe stroke.
    2. Uma Thurman is about as sexy as Jimmy Saville in a children's hospital ward.
    3. Chris O'Donnell has the charisma of a toilet seat.
    4. George Clooney's leather nipples.
    5. Bat bombs. Bat…

  • Birth

    Birth 2004

    ★★★★★ Watched 25 Jul, 2013 17

    "You're just a little boy, aren't you?"

    Birth is an elegant piece of filmmaking, delicately directed by Jonathan Glazer (Sexy Beast). It touches upon a plethora of themes that include love, loyalty, death, family, and grief but saturated in an atmosphere of supernatural oddness, yet, it's hard to place this under a certain genre. It's a stark piece of individual filmmaking that rarely comes around these days even though it echoes the likes of Kubrick.

    Still, this will split an…