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  • Twister 1996

    ★★½ Rewatched 16 Sep, 2014

    An empty, hollow shell of a film but at least it's an entertaining one. Yes, the filmmakers were so tied up making the CGI look awesome that they completely forgot to write a plot and how the fuck does a tornado sneak up on people without anybody noticing?!

    Bill Paxton and Helen Hunt make likeable, if slightly dull, leads but they're overshadowed by Cary Elwes in superb smug form and the presence of Philip Seymour Hoffman in a supporting role…

  • The Langoliers 1995

    Added 4

    That blind girl had just the worst haircut ever!

    Three hours long. Oh, the humanity!

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  • Batman & Robin 1997

    Rewatched 05 Jan, 2013 12

    Spectacularly shite.

    So much so that Arnie's daft performance is the only salvageable aspect that can be scraped from this plate of visual diarrhea.

    There's so many wrong things at play here:

    1. Alicia Silverstone handles the english language like she just suffered a severe stroke.
    2. Uma Thurman is about as sexy as Jimmy Saville in a children's hospital ward.
    3. Chris O'Donnell has the charisma of a toilet seat.
    4. George Clooney's leather nipples.
    5. Bat bombs. Bat…

  • Birth 2004

    ★★★★★ Watched 25 Jul, 2013 17

    "You're just a little boy, aren't you?"

    Birth is an elegant piece of filmmaking, delicately directed by Jonathan Glazer (Sexy Beast). It touches upon a plethora of themes that include love, loyalty, death, family, and grief but saturated in an atmosphere of supernatural oddness, yet, it's hard to place this under a certain genre. It's a stark piece of individual filmmaking that rarely comes around these days even though it echoes the likes of Kubrick.

    Still, this will split an…