Review first published by Filmland Empire
"At the end of the day, this is going to be normal," declares Josef (Mark Duplass), embracing Aaron (Patrick Brice), whom he has only just met, with a clingy firmness. "This isn't weird at all."
In response to an ad on Craigslist, amateur videographer and all-round nice guy Aaron has driven up to Josef's woodland home, armed only with his digicam. Expressly invoking the Michael Keaton-starring terminal illness weepie My Life (1993), Josef explains…
Do not believe anyone who tells you that the Wachowskis' silly, bombastic and vacuous science fiction fantasy is enjoyable piffle.
It is boring, stupid, eye and brain-insulting tosh. It is derivative space debris.
Here is a selected list of the things that the Wachowskis failed to fix during the months of extra post-production that pushed back the film's release from July 2014 to February 2015.
1. The ridiculous, over-complicated, confusing, exposition-heavy storyline.
2. The tedious 3D sfx set-pieces, which largely…
Although never remotely erotic, this dumbed-up, toned down film adaptation of E L James's barely literate 'erotic' novel is far classier then the abysmal source material deserves.
Dakota Johnson's Anastasia Steele (sic) is a more assertive and appealing character than the book's drippy and infuriating heroine; Sam Taylor-Johnson's elegantly monochrome visuals add an icy but glossy sheen; the screenplay by Kelly Marcel (Saving Mr Banks) jettisons Anastasia's cringe-making internal monologue ("my inner goddess" this, "my subconscious" that) and much of…
Well this was unexpected.
Having only seen the first Universal Soldier, I've obviously missed some stuff but I don't care. This sees Scott Adkins take the lead in a sort-of soft reboot where JCVD is a Colonel Kurtz esque bad guy and Lundgren smashes the shit out of people.
With a first-person opening sequence which grabs the attention, this proceeds to mix insanely well choreographed action with a dreamlike, often surrealistic mood with some moments not looking out of place…
This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.
A large reptilian tail swoops across the screen, the towering colossus of an unknown entity threatening civilisation, well, we all know what it is but are kept waiting with bated breath for the grand reveal. A set of prehistoric plates protrude from the ocean aiming directly at a busy metropolis, all the time Gareth Edwards carefully keeping this threat hidden and in turn creating an overwhelming, pulsating sense of dread. Add to that Edwards' awe inspiring visuals, Godzilla is a…
It's very difficult for me to talk about this film, because in a way Kathleen Hanna was instrumental in saving my life. This is my Kathleen Hanna story.
I was a fourteen year old transgender girl who fucking hated her body. I hated that I couldn't reconcile how I felt internally with what was happening to me day in and day out with puberty. I was being forced into a gender role that didn't fit at all and anytime I…
A film from the future.
An astonishing 'alien' vision of an oh-so-human world
Echoes of Kubrick and Tarkovsky.
Bears very little resemblance to the eponymous source novel by Michel Faber.
Scarlett Johansson is other-worldly in a way that is so different from, and so much more interesting than, most of her previous and recent roles.
More power to her for taking on an extremely challenging role.
I bought this as a protest to Tesco because I'm a fucking idiot.
Anyway in the film's favour it's not quite the generic 'haunted abandoned hospital film you expect. However everything is a high level of amateurish. The worst cg blood I've ever seen, though it's maybe not too much of a headache considering the viewer's investment to the story is practically (heh) nil. Every actress appears naked so that should maybe give you a clue as to where this…