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  • Assassin's Creed

    Assassin's Creed

    ★★

    The story is total bobbins and the only redeeming feature is the spectacularly choreographed chase sequences that capture the elegance of an expert player moving effortlessly through a game world.

  • Bandslam

    Bandslam

    ★★★½

    Hopelessly mismarketed to fans of High School Musical what you've really got here is a tonally uneven School of Rock for early noughties Pitchfork readers. The battle of the bands story is a little too well trodden and leads to a damp ending but I can't help but like the bunch of outcasts they assemble along the way.

    It's aged terribly thanks to references to long forgotten indie bands and the fall of MySpace but that's kinda why I love it.

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  • V/H/S

    V/H/S

    Some segments are worse than others, unfortunately we start with the weakest and work up. By the time they picked up i'd all but lost interest.

  • The Patriot

    The Patriot

    ★½

    Seagals first straight to video outing is a nauseating 90 minutes of the kind of hippy bullshit that eventually put an end to the ponytail on the big screen