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  • Wish I Was Here 2014

    Watched 30 Jul, 2014

    Surprisingly not the cloying, unbearable quirk porn that Garden State was but maybe that would have been better since this was just boring as hell without giving me any reason to care about these characters and loaded with banal subplots (the stuff with Josh Gad at Comic-Con and Kate Hudson being harassed at work especially) that could have been excised and trimmed the grueling two hour runtime. There's a whole thing about how Braff's character is better at teaching acting…

  • Getaway 2013

    ½ Watched 26 Jul, 2014

    I've lost the will to live.

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  • The Butler 2013

    ½ Watched 22 Dec, 2013 2

    So to recap the first five minutes of Lee Daniels’ Lee Daniels’ The Butler:

    - Forest Whitaker is sitting in the White House.
    - He stares into the horizon, even though he’s inside.
    - Cut to an image of two men hanging.
    - Fade in Martin Luther King Jr. quote next to them.
    - Cut back to Forest Whitaker staring into the horizon for a second.
    - Cut to his childhood, working on a cotton farm with his parents.
    -…

  • The To Do List 2013

    ½ Watched 09 Nov, 2013 2

    My To Do List:

    01. Invent time travel.
    02. Go back in time.
    03. Stop myself from ever seeing this movie.