Underworld: Awakening 2012 ★★

First you tell yourself you're OK because you skipped it in the theater, then you tell yourself you're safe because you didn't put it in your Netflix queue. Then it comes on iTunes and you skip over it to get to  the indie flicks. Then you say wow, a seven minute trailer? I'll just check it out and the next thing you know you've committed to spending 88 minutes with Kate Beckinsdale in shined up latex. This of course sounds better than it actually is because:
1. Kate Beckingsdale  isn't really there in person.
2. You just spent good money on a so-so movie.

You would be right to think that much like the Resident Evil and the Blade franchise, Underworld has run out of steam and there's not much story left to tell. Don't get me wrong the first eight minutes are a great recap of the previous films - but then you are thrust into the future where humans have hunted vampires and lycans to extinction. Kate of course has been on/in ice for 12 years and is suddenly "Awakened" only to find that she has a daughter who is a hybrid, much like her father - who is also on "ice."

 I'm sure the studio execs loved it because it was probably shot just like the pitch. I can see the pitch meeting in my head now.

Producers/writers: "What if Selene (Kate Beckinsdale) wakes up from cryogenic suspension to find out she has a daughter?"

Studio Execs: "And?"

Producers/writers: "That's it, that's the whole movie. Nothing much else really happens."

Studio Execs: "How are we going fill up and hour and 28 minutes worth of time with that?"

Producers/writers: "We will throw in a car chase, some action scenes and bunch of CGI!"

Studio Execs: "Fan-Fucking-tastic. When can you guys start filming? Oh, Make sure no one dies so we can make another sequel."

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