Jesus, what a crapfest. Usually I do not watch superhero movies and I don't read comics, but this was part of an oversea flight entertainment program, so I gave it a shot.
Most of the fun for me was figuring out what actually Iron Man's / Stark's super power was and I honestly I didn't quite get it. Is he a living magnet or some shit? And whenever he does the "iron summoning" pose or whatever that is, why does…
Well, the whole premise is entirely preposterous, because if you factor in the holy FUCK THAT ROBOT JUST PUNCHED A GIANT MONSTER IN THE FACE OH MY GOD.
Well, Charlie Hunnam is probably the most uncharismatic leading man I have ever seen and the movie would honestly be better if they just replaced him with a stationary picture of Michael Fassbender and jesus fucking CHRIST ARE YOU SERIOUS? ARE YOU EVEN JOKING ME RIGHT NOW? DID THAT JAEGER SERIOUSLY JUST…
If this movie were a person, it would be a fifteen-year-old boy- it's very, very horny, and very, VERY angry. I hadn't actually realised that until this most recent re-watch. Everybody's either shouting at each other, making some sort of snide remark or at times becoming physically violent with one another, often out of nowhere. And of course, king of all this is Michael Douglas, the angriest cock in the barnyard, a man who seems to be judging his performance…
Lawless, oh Lawless
You may not be so flawless
But I'll be damned if you left me thoughtless
I thought you'd be fun like a party
I got a surprise especially from Hardy
Even Shia pulls his weight, he's not so annoying
Not for a second did he stop me from enjoying
Let's not forget Mia and Gary and Noah oh my
And even Jessica, who still brings a glimmer to my eye
Then of course there's Guy; he stole…
What starts out in the been-there-done-that vein of an X-Files episode, suddenly increases its pace about halfway through, gripping you tightly in its fists full of suspense and unease. Unfortunately, it does not consequently pursue its goal until the memorable ending, but goes astray at times. Two hours were maybe a bit ambitious for the not too complex story.
Nevertheless: ★★★★ for a great movie and a bonus ½ for the amazing closing song that rocked my 64 MB MP3 player about ten years ago after I watched this little gem for the first time. Plus I have a soft spot for Richard Gere.
Imagine this movie like a big party. Only cool and funny people hanging out, telling you their story, everyone is having a good time (let's say ★★★★). Then this annoying despicable bitch (a.k.a. Jennifer Lawrence) enters, shouts WAH-WAH-WAH-WAH into your current conversation, breaks some bottles and finally takes a big dump on the kitchen floor. Well, thanks for ruining our evening.
Edit: Go choke on your AA. Bitch.
Seen in IMAX 3d
Finally. I finally got to see it and find out where I stand. And where I stand is with two big hairy feet smack dab in the middle of Middle Earth. And I love it there.
I have read The Hobbit a couple of times. It is a stunning piece of children's literature that has a light hearted tone and is a wonderful adventure story. Tolkien once wrote a sentence on a piece of paper: 'In…
This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.
This is a horror film that manages to grab you both by its mysteriously creepy content and its harrowing visuals.
In essence this film is, to me at least, an oppressive and bleak depiction of purgatory. Through a perfectly paced script, we are slowly drawn into Jacob's increasingly weird world, riddled with disturbing hallucinations and paranoia. We are never told explicitly why the things that happen, happen and I love it all the more for it. Up until the very…
In a theater in Scranton, PA there was a movie, and not an ordinary movie with little substance to speak of, or a terrible, logic-free shit offering that seems too common in theaters of this age; it was a fantastic adaptation of one of the greatest novels of any age, directed by the stellar talent behind the most recent three Tolkein adaptations, and that means quality.
I went into this chanting the following mantra: "I shall not compare it to Verhoeven's classic film."
Let's see how I got on.
Wiseman's film is loosely based on Philip K. Dick's short story "We can remember it for you wholesale". And by loosely I mean it's actually not based on it at all. The only similarities to the story and this film are in the characters' names and the name of the company that alters memories. That's it. No…