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  • John Wick

    John Wick 2014

    ★★★★ Rewatched 29 Jul, 2015

    John wasn't exactly the boogeyman. He's the one you sent to kill the fucking boogeyman.
    -Viggo Tarasov

    Still one of the best John Woo films not directed by John Woo.

  • Laid to Rest

    Laid to Rest 2009

    ★★ Watched 27 Jul, 2015

    I was in a box...
    -The Girl

    Some great gore, fantastic in some instances surrounded by some solid performances (for a low budget slasher) from the likes of Kevin Gage, Sean Whalen and Lena Headey. All this surrounds a lame final girl played by Bobbi Sue Luther and a lame killer.

    Admittedly it's not easy to come up with a new "cool slasher", but ChromeSkull just comes off as something a 12 year would design. Visually he looks like a…

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  • Guardians of the Galaxy

    Guardians of the Galaxy 2014

    ★★★★½ Watched 31 Jul, 2014 50

    I am Groot.
    -Groot

    I am Groot. I AM Groot! I'm Groot. I am GROOT? I'm GROOT! I AM GROOT?! I am Groot! I AM Groot. I'm Groot?! I am GROOT! I'm GROOT? I AM GROOT. I am... GROOT!

    I am GROOT. I AM GROOT! I'm GROOT?! I AM Groot? I'm Groot! I am Groot?! I am Groot? I AM Groot?! I'm Groot? I am GROOT?! I'm GROOT. I AM GROOT? I... AM... GROOOOOOOT!

    ************SPOILER WARNING************
    I am Groot.
    ************END OF SPOILERS************

  • Jaws: The Revenge

    Jaws: The Revenge 1987

    ½ Rewatched 02 Jul, 2013 60

    Roar!
    -Shark

    Instead of doing a review I will just point out the crap that inhabits this film.

    - The shark roars like a lion.
    - Mario Van Peebles does a Jamaican accent
    - The shark swims from New York to the Bahamas in less then 3 days.
    - This is the sequel that popularized the tagline "This time it's personal!"
    - African Americans feet apparently look Caucasian under water
    - The god damn shark is hunting one family, even…