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  • Wild Card

    Wild Card

    ★½

    You're not supposed to like Vegas. It's just this creeping virus that people catch sometimes.
    -Nick Wild

    It's like a dumber version of the 2014 Gambler remake except with a couple of fights thrown in. They even talk about "fuck you money" at one point.

    I like Jason Statham, but he can only do so much to make a bland movie... less bland. I'd love to see him in a film directed by Gareth Evans, Chad Stahelski or David Leitch.…

  • My Scientology Movie

    My Scientology Movie

    ★★★

    Yes, but he was using Tone 40.
    -Louis Theroux

    It's a bit odd how little of Scientology director John Dower and Louis Theroux's documentary covers. Nothing on the life of L. Ron Hubbard, no mention of John Travolta and the biggest omission of all; Xenu the Galactic Overlord is NOWHERE to be found. That last one surprised me considering the film's comedic take.

    Theroux does get a few things right though that other documentary films and series seem to avoid…

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  • Guardians of the Galaxy

    Guardians of the Galaxy

    ★★★★½

    I am Groot.
    -Groot

    I am Groot. I AM Groot! I'm Groot. I am GROOT? I'm GROOT! I AM GROOT?! I am Groot! I AM Groot. I'm Groot?! I am GROOT! I'm GROOT? I AM GROOT. I am... GROOT!

    I am GROOT. I AM GROOT! I'm GROOT?! I AM Groot? I'm Groot! I am Groot?! I am Groot? I AM Groot?! I'm Groot? I am GROOT?! I'm GROOT. I AM GROOT? I... AM... GROOOOOOOT!

    ************SPOILER WARNING************
    I am Groot.
    ************END OF SPOILERS************

  • Jaws: The Revenge

    Jaws: The Revenge

    ½

    Roar!
    -Shark

    Instead of doing a review I will just point out the crap that inhabits this film.

    - The shark roars like a lion.
    - Mario Van Peebles does a Jamaican accent
    - The shark swims from New York to the Bahamas in less then 3 days.
    - This is the sequel that popularized the tagline "This time it's personal!"
    - African Americans feet apparently look Caucasian under water
    - The god damn shark is hunting one family, even…