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  • Locke

    Locke 2013

    ★★★ Watched 24 Sep, 2016

    I am trying to do the right thing.
    -Ivan Locke

    God damn it, just throw Tom Hardy in car and have him drive around for 90 minutes and you have a more compelling movie than just about anything currently playing in theaters.

    I found some aspects problematic, nothing about Hardy's performance though. Seriously one of the best actors working today, for a while now. Doesn't matter if he's in a Hollywood blockbuster, independent drama, or even a supporting actor on a television series. You will remember his performance in whatever the hell he's in.

  • The Handmaiden

    The Handmaiden 2016

    ★★★★½ Watched 24 Sep, 2016 2

    You can curse me, or you can steal things from me, but please don't lie to me... do you understand?
    -Lady Hideko

    I feel miserable after watching The Handmaiden, just like I did after the first time I saw Stoker because I'm in this void again where I don't know when the next Park Chan-wook film will come out. Park is one of the rare directors where my expectations for each of his films gets exceedingly unmanageable where I know…

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  • Guardians of the Galaxy

    Guardians of the Galaxy 2014

    ★★★★½ Watched 31 Jul, 2014 51

    I am Groot.
    -Groot

    I am Groot. I AM Groot! I'm Groot. I am GROOT? I'm GROOT! I AM GROOT?! I am Groot! I AM Groot. I'm Groot?! I am GROOT! I'm GROOT? I AM GROOT. I am... GROOT!

    I am GROOT. I AM GROOT! I'm GROOT?! I AM Groot? I'm Groot! I am Groot?! I am Groot? I AM Groot?! I'm Groot? I am GROOT?! I'm GROOT. I AM GROOT? I... AM... GROOOOOOOT!

    ************SPOILER WARNING************
    I am Groot.
    ************END OF SPOILERS************

  • Jaws: The Revenge

    Jaws: The Revenge 1987

    ½ Rewatched 02 Jul, 2013 68

    Roar!
    -Shark

    Instead of doing a review I will just point out the crap that inhabits this film.

    - The shark roars like a lion.
    - Mario Van Peebles does a Jamaican accent
    - The shark swims from New York to the Bahamas in less then 3 days.
    - This is the sequel that popularized the tagline "This time it's personal!"
    - African Americans feet apparently look Caucasian under water
    - The god damn shark is hunting one family, even…