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  • The Canal

    The Canal 2014

    ★★★★ Watched 23 Apr, 2015

    Some films came in from the police archive... would you look at them for me?
    -Claire

    The overall plot has been overdone in horror films for a good 40 to 50 years, probably more, but it's not the story being told that counts, it's how it's told. Take joy in watching Rupert Evans being mentally tortured for 92 minutes with a great performance.

    Director Ivan Kavanagh just creates a sense of dread that is almost unbearable and oh so disturbing.…

  • The Loft

    The Loft 2014

    ★½ Watched 22 Apr, 2015 2

    We're men. We're all a little like that.
    -Vincent Stevens

    A remake of a Dutch erotic thriller with the original's director behind the camera, Erik Van Looy, with a damn decent cast headed by Karl Urban. Would also like to mention how slick the film looks before delving into the negative which is almost everything else despite me being completely on board for a 90s throwback thriller.

    I can't imagine what the reason for this was, but the beings in…

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  • Guardians of the Galaxy

    Guardians of the Galaxy 2014

    ★★★★½ Watched 31 Jul, 2014 50

    I am Groot.
    -Groot

    I am Groot. I AM Groot! I'm Groot. I am GROOT? I'm GROOT! I AM GROOT?! I am Groot! I AM Groot. I'm Groot?! I am GROOT! I'm GROOT? I AM GROOT. I am... GROOT!

    I am GROOT. I AM GROOT! I'm GROOT?! I AM Groot? I'm Groot! I am Groot?! I am Groot? I AM Groot?! I'm Groot? I am GROOT?! I'm GROOT. I AM GROOT? I... AM... GROOOOOOOT!

    ************SPOILER WARNING************
    I am Groot.
    ************END OF SPOILERS************

  • Jaws: The Revenge

    Jaws: The Revenge 1987

    ½ Rewatched 02 Jul, 2013 59

    Roar!
    -Shark

    Instead of doing a review I will just point out the crap that inhabits this film.

    - The shark roars like a lion.
    - Mario Van Peebles does a Jamaican accent
    - The shark swims from New York to the Bahamas in less then 3 days.
    - This is the sequel that popularized the tagline "This time it's personal!"
    - African Americans feet apparently look Caucasian under water
    - The god damn shark is hunting one family, even…