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  • The Ones Below

    The Ones Below 2015

    ★★ Watched 28 Aug, 2016

    I've always known I wanted a child.
    -Theresa

    After watching writer/director David Farr's feature film debut I saw that some critics compared it to the works of Roman Polanski and Alfred Hitchcock which then caused me to throw up in my mouth a little. Rinsed my mouth, brushed my teeth and here I am again.

    I'm not disgusted by the film, but by the over the top praise. We're in an age were every year a new "masterpiece" and "instant…

  • Hannah and Her Sisters

    Hannah and Her Sisters 1986

    ★★★★ Watched 28 Aug, 2016

    A week ago I bought a rifle, I went to the store - I bought a rifle! I was gonna, you know, if they told me I had a tumor, I was gonna kill myself. The only thing that might-ve stopped me - MIGHT'VE - is that my parents would be devastated. I would have to shoot them also, first. And then I have an aunt and uncle - you know - it would've been a blood bath.
    -Mickey

    I'm…

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  • Guardians of the Galaxy

    Guardians of the Galaxy 2014

    ★★★★½ Watched 31 Jul, 2014 51

    I am Groot.
    -Groot

    I am Groot. I AM Groot! I'm Groot. I am GROOT? I'm GROOT! I AM GROOT?! I am Groot! I AM Groot. I'm Groot?! I am GROOT! I'm GROOT? I AM GROOT. I am... GROOT!

    I am GROOT. I AM GROOT! I'm GROOT?! I AM Groot? I'm Groot! I am Groot?! I am Groot? I AM Groot?! I'm Groot? I am GROOT?! I'm GROOT. I AM GROOT? I... AM... GROOOOOOOT!

    ************SPOILER WARNING************
    I am Groot.
    ************END OF SPOILERS************

  • Jaws: The Revenge

    Jaws: The Revenge 1987

    ½ Rewatched 02 Jul, 2013 68

    Roar!
    -Shark

    Instead of doing a review I will just point out the crap that inhabits this film.

    - The shark roars like a lion.
    - Mario Van Peebles does a Jamaican accent
    - The shark swims from New York to the Bahamas in less then 3 days.
    - This is the sequel that popularized the tagline "This time it's personal!"
    - African Americans feet apparently look Caucasian under water
    - The god damn shark is hunting one family, even…