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  • The Wedding Ringer

    The Wedding Ringer 2015

    ★★½ Watched 16 May, 2015

    I want my real life to be as fun as the one I made up!
    -Doug Harris

    I wanted this movie to be half as good as the one I had made up in my head.

    Formulaic with no real originality in it's execution. It doesn't really do anything particularly bad, but it doesn't really do anything particularly good either. It's so formulaic that you'll know where the film is headed before you even start watching.

    Being a fan of…

  • Mad Max: Fury Road

    Mad Max: Fury Road 2015

    ★★★★½ Watched 15 May, 2015 10

    Oh what a day, what a lovely day!

    The almighty George Lucas and Steven Spielberg tried revisiting their 80s greatness resulting in a crash and burn before the finish line known as expectations was even in sight. Enter George Miller running everyone off the road in his V8 Interceptor blasting through that finish line at 160 mph.

    The 80s didn't die off, they were simply locked away in Miller's basement and he's apparently decided to unleash them on an…

  • Avengers: Age of Ultron

    Avengers: Age of Ultron 2015

    ★★★★ Rewatched 15 May, 2015 6

    This is exactly what I wanted.

    Well maybe not EXACTLY what I wanted but it got the job done in spectacular fashion. The Avengers films have the distinction of being the big blow-off movie for Marvel's different "Phases", this being Phase 2 if I'm getting this right (of course I am, I'm a comic book geek).

    It's basically the latest chapter of one book in an endless series of books. It really is the comic book format brought to…

  • Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome

    Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome 1985

    ★★★ Rewatched 15 May, 2015 3

    I ain't Captain Walker. I'm the guy who carries Mr. Dead in his pocket.
    -Max Rockatansky

    I have a deep fondness for this deeply flawed film. Still though I think it's justified as despite any problems it might have it still has some iconic moments that have stood the test of time.

    The main problem is of course that it's obvious that huge chunks of the film were not directed by George Miller for various reasons which probably include that…

  • Twilight

    Twilight 1998

    ★★★ Watched 15 May, 2015

    I can't help but notice how...familiar you've become with everything in this house.

    Hey look at that! Twilight didn't always refer to sparkling vampires when it came to films and in this case the tittle actually makes sense to the story.

    A neo-noir/thriller that has the disadvantage of NOT being based on a novel. I say that because it suffers a bit from borrowing from other noir without ever being creative about it. It also only populates it's movie…

  • The Defender

    The Defender 1994

    ★★★ Watched 14 May, 2015

    You made me cry. It won't happen again!
    -Michelle Yeung

    It's like The Bodyguard with Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner replaced by Jet Li and some Corey Yuen Gun Fu. Yes, already an obvious huge improvement on the Hollywood original.

    The action is great, top notch even, but the narrative has a hard time to keep you engaged due to an overly melodramatic love story leading to some unfortunately hysterical over the top scenes.

    A bit of a mixed bag but still enjoyable. Nowhere near top tier Jet Li however.

  • Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior

    Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior 1981

    ★★★★★ Rewatched 14 May, 2015

    I'm just here for the gasoline.

    It's the perfect amalgamation of western, samurai and car chase film while arguably giving birth to the often imitated "punk version" of post-apocalyptic films. Director George Miller might not have invented the sub-genre, but he sure as hell lit the fuse on it for the 80s.

    This is the logical next step for the character of Max Rockatansky after the events of the first film. The wandering mysterious stranger akin to the High…

  • Mad Max

    Mad Max 1979

    ★★★★ Rewatched 13 May, 2015 2

    This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I am the Nightrider. I'm a fuel injected suicide machine. I am the rocker, I am the roller, I am the out-of-controller!

    The humble beginnings of director George Miller. Who could have foreseen in 1979 that Miller would go on to change the world with his cinematic masterpieces Happy Feet and Happy Feet Two: Happier Feet?

    Actually the influence the Mad Max films had on the 80s is no joke and I would never take anything away from Miller

  • Rock of Ages

    Rock of Ages 2012

    ★★★★ Rewatched 12 May, 2015 5

    He's better than Concrete Balls.
    -Sherrie Christian

    A deplorable film that caters to the nostalgia of people who can't let go of the 80s. Truly deplorable.

    I noticed the Eli Roth cameo, thinking this was the first time I spotted him... and then saw I posted the exact same thing back in December of 2012.

    Maybe when I watch it again in a few years I'll notice Roth for the first time all over again...

  • The November Man

    The November Man 2014

    ★★½ Watched 12 May, 2015

    Don't put your faith in me, Alice... I promise I'll disappoint you.

    I'm going to be honest here, the only thing I found memorable in the film was Pierce Brosnan as there were moments he really made me want to see more of this Devereaux character, but everything else in the film I really could not care less about.

    I really hope Brosnan is not following in the footsteps of Liam Neeson making these average too poor action films…

  • Cuban Fury

    Cuban Fury 2014

    ★★½ Watched 11 May, 2015

    Al Pa-Fucking-Cino!
    -Ron Parfitt

    I don't know about anyone else, but the idea of Ian McShane training Nick Frost in the deadly art of salsa dancing sounded like a comedic goldmine to me. Throw in Chris O’Dowd as his rival and suddenly the potential for hilarity is now off the scales!

    Seriously I can't be the only one that felt like that right? Anyways, I don't remember the last time I wanted to like a mediocre comedy this badly, but…

  • After School Massacre

    After School Massacre 2014

    ½ Watched 11 May, 2015

    You girls throw the stupidest slumber parties ever.
    -Luke Dalton

    I guarantee that you've seen YouTube videos with higher production values and acting then this movie. There's a scene in the "Teacher's Lounge" where the crew couldn't even find any chairs for the set so the actors stand around delivering their lines as if reading it off queue cards for the first time.

    It does successfully recreate the aesthetic of a white trash Hollywood suburb with mid-20 to 30 year…