Was this vision you just had written by a fucking five year old?
Of course this is complete garbage, but it's a Leprechaun ripoff, with zero production value, no budget, starring Verne Troyer (Mini-Me from the Austin Powers movies) and it's called GNOME ALONE! Of course I was going to watch this! How could I not?
It's like passing a car accident, you have to stop and watch to see if it's as bad as you suspect and by…
500 years ago the conquistadors came here looking for silver and burnt all the children of this village alive.
I do believe the original title of this film was Horror Movie Clichés: The Movie. Director Lluís Quílez makes his feature film debut here with a solid cast and the beautiful locals of Colombia at his disposal, but unfortunately he's shooting from an uninspired script.
You'll see the jump scares coming a mile away. You'll recognize who has horrible secrets…
I love you honey bee.
Writer/director Leigh Janiak makes a damn confident debut here in the horror genre with a story that might not have blown me away, but it's told with such talent that it elevates it passed it's familiar theme.
Eventually we're going to need some monsters.. in our... monsters documentary. Right?
Adam Green, the man who brought us Frozen (the other one) and the Hatchet films, is at it again but this time with a "faux documentary" where I believe everyone is playing themselves except for it's main subject, one William Dekker played by Ray Wise.
The gist is that Dekker has approached Green with his story with decades worth of research on "real monsters" that live…
This morning I shot my wife and child with a nail gun. I don't know how to make that into a story.
Rarely do those mash-up tag lines for films ever end up being right. They tell you it's "Independence Day Meets Aliens" and they give you Battle Los Angeles. Here though, you get exactly what they tell you and that's god damn "Mad Max Meets Dawn of the Dead".
I'd add that it's more Dawn of the Dead…
There's a saying where I come from: Don't stick your dick in crazy.
Director Matt Jackson and screenwriter Michael Skvaria make their feature film debut here on what had to be a shoestring budget, but it works because the material is genuinely witty with a cast of actors that are having fun with it's ridiculous premise.
A cheesy tourist trap, Uncle Slavko's All-American Lodge, featuring staff dressed up as Big Foots (or is that Big Feet?) as an attraction…
Well done Lady Dragon.
As far as I can tell, this is a spinoff of the Street Fighter films with no actual connection to the Street Fighter films despite having "Sonny Chiba's back" plastered on the poster. Sonny Chiba is in the film, but he's playing a completely different character.
Worse even is the fact that Chiba has top billing on most posters you'll see, but he actually only has a small part in the film. Still though,…
This will be... different.
A brutal Hollywood satire in the form of horror that might be taking it's inspiration from the likes of early Roman Polanski and David Cronenberg. Note that I'm merely stating where I think the inspiration came from and by no means making a comparison on talent.
Alex Essoe is the naive wannabe Hollywood starlet Sarah that we follow on her journey to possible success. Everything she goes through physically is to change her psychologically…
We are building the biggest weapon for oppression in the history of mankind.
I'm not sure what is scarier about this film, what these events uncovered or the fact that since this story first broke the mass population, as a majority, have already become compliant to…
I would like to thank my parents for not practicing birth control.
I'm easy, just show me a bunch of Oscar clips and classic movie clips. Stop doing interviews with Cher though, her new face freaks me out. Also stop doing interviews with Liza Minnelli... she freaks me out a little too. Just use old interview clips for both of them. Everyone will be better for it.