I feel the creative process of putting this together would have made for far superior entertainment than the movie itself. The utter dedication to reducing everything, everything to a cheap gag is almost endearing and I want to imagine the two writers polishing the script. “Wow, wow, wow, man – this looks too much like character development. Take this out of here!” Or 50 pre-printed sticky notes saying [farting noise] that just have to be inserted in the script. “We get a nice discount on those,” one writer says to the fictional documentary crew, while the other is vigorously nodding. “Remember when we had to do them by hand?” they reminisce, then break into hysterics.

There is a tiny kernel of something interesting here – not terribly original, possibly, but interesting. The problem is that this film is bad even at being bad. It’s in the Uncanny Valley of Badness. We watched it, ironically, with six people, but there was still less than one person’s worth of cumulative laughter – either with or at the movie. The funniest moments were in the end credits (the only time when the movie seemed actually aware of its sheer incompetence), and, in the meta world, in the feud between Rob Schneider and film critics.

I miss Police Academy.

[farting noise]