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  • The Unbelievers 2013

    ★★ Watched 25 Sep, 2014 2

    This film may well be evidence that there is a God, cos only He could have taken two of the most brilliant men on the planet and made them look dull as (holy) ditchwater. There's no attempt to get under their skin, or to challenge them (which would have shown much better how resilient their arguments are). The result is repetitive and (ironically) preachy. There's also a really weird soundtrack, which plays almost constantly at the optimum level of annoyance, not too loud and not too quiet, creating that perfect viewing ambience of the neighbours having their music on.

  • Scarab 1984

    ★½ Watched 10 Aug, 2014

    'Mess' doesn't begin to cover this, but it's worth seeing for Rip Torn's physicist/resurrected Egyptian beetle god, particularly his sex scene, which starts off with some kind of interpretive dance, then sees him howl a battle cry, Alan Partridge-like, as he jumps into action - only to find that a mysterious apparition (possibly his ex-wife, your guess is as good as mine since it's never explained nor appears again) has changed the body of his would-be partner into that of…

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  • Lifeforce 1985

    ★★★★★ Rewatched 04 Apr, 2013 7

    OK, I admit it, I'm a fan of Lifeforce, and it's not just because of the vast swathes of nudity.* Not that I can't see the flaws - this is after all a film that (ahem) climaxes with a man able to save the earth by having sex, in fact he's so good at sex that he sends himself and his partner flying up into the air - but it is also fun, ambitious, scary and dare I say it…

  • Caligula 1979

    ★★★ Watched 15 Feb, 2013 8

    It's hard (sorry) to know how to review Caligula, especially in its full length (sorry again) version. I've seen lots of 10/10 reviews on other sites, but you can't help feeling (ahem) that they are actually reviewing the behind-the-scenes story. That of course is incredible, hilarious and tragic - all things that the film should be but isn't. It's swollen (cough), sloppy (cough cough) and gets itself into a proper mess (nurse!). Mark Kermode famously said that there was a…