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  • Annabelle 2014

    ★★ Watched 03 Mar, 2015

    Lifeless prequel to THE CONJURING. Every interesting element is cribbed from another, better movie. There's like 4 movies in this that I'd much rather see.

  • The Lone Ranger 2013

    ★★★ Watched 16 Feb, 2015

    Tries so hard to make a Serious Statement while also being a slapstick fun action-comedy. Johnny Depp sticks out like a sore thumb as Tonto. If the whole film was as good as the final train action sequence we'd be getting a new one every 2 years.

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  • Snow White and the Huntsman 2012

    ★★★½ Watched 01 Jun, 2012 3

    As stunning-but-lifeless as the corpse of a pageant queen, SW&TH attempts to add some edge to a classic fairy tale. Unfortunately, everyone involved in the creation of the film seemed to mistake sex and violence for maturity, and even in doing so wholeheartedly failed at one half of that equation, creating a relatively sexless (but fun) fantasy romp.

    The idea of turning Snow White into a low fantasy seems to make sense, what with the world currently in the thrall…

  • The Dark Knight Rises 2012

    ★★★ Watched 20 Jul, 2012 5

    This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Well, that was disappointing.

    For six long years I'd been eating up Nolan's Batman films. It's not my *favorite* take on Batman, but it has been an enjoyable ride.

    Up till now.

    Don't get me wrong, THE DARK KNIGHT RISES is a fun movie at times. If you can ignore some of the more egregious plotholes it works, but Nolan breaks his back trying to tie all three movies together, and it proves to be TDKR's downfall.

    The film tries…