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  • Focus 2015

    ★★½ Watched 16 Feb, 2015 3

    The review is almost copied straight from the latest FailedCritics.com podcast verbatim, but I'm logging it here too. Might as well, like.

    It's written and directed by John Requa and Glenn Ficarra, who worked together on Crazy Stupid Love and I Love You Philip Morris, two films I've not seen before and don't have any intention of watching ever.

    It stars 46 year old Will Smith (just let that sink in for a second.. Will Smith is 46 years old)…

  • Jupiter Ascending 2015

    ★½ Watched 08 Feb, 2015

    I know, I know. It's just an earnest space opera that isn't purporting to be anything more than a simple story about a space princess living in obscurity being rescued by a wolf-man from the clutches of space-royalty intent on "owning" the Earth. BUT. It's such a fucking mess and painfully dull.

    My favourite Wachowski film is Cloud Atlas. It has that marriage of fantasy and reality, blending the subtext with the explicit to create something bigger and better than…

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  • Crash 2004

    Watched 16 Dec, 2012 46

    Wow what a revelation. Apparently black people can be racist of white people, white people can be racist of black people, black people can be racist of black people, black people can be racist of hispanic people, white people can be racist of middle-eastern people, middle eastern people can be racist of hispanic people, hispanic people are nice, white people can't be racist of white people.

    BUT.

    Those same black people can be nice to white people, those white people…

  • First Blood 1982

    ★★★★ Watched 15 May, 2012 5

    I kind of thought it would be a mindless action film where Sly goes around killing the bad guys in the jungle with his machine gun and that's about it. Like Predator, I guess, just without the Predator.

    I was wrong. It's excellent. I found it very entertaining, and also quite sad. Sure, Rambo is this bad-ass, super elite soldier who can kill a man practically by looking at him with his wonky face, but I never realised there was…