review by Owen Hughes Patron
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter 2012
Watched Jun 22, 2012
Owen Hughes’s review:
Normally, you can review a film according to 3 basic principles;
a) what were you expecting of the film, and did it meet those expectations?
b) how does it compare to the previous director/writer/actors previous work
and, probably most importantly, c) how much did you enjoy and/or appreciate it?
This film provides 3 very simple answers to those questions, which I can imagine being delivered by a 14 year old boy in a very sarcastic tone, possibly swinging his arms in disbelief at being asked those questions whilst shouting "I HATE YOU" at me, as per the following:
a) you do realise this is about Abe Lincoln fighting vampires, right?
b) and that the people involved in its creation include both Tim Burton, who hasn't made a good film since Batman Returns, and the guy who wrote the screenplay for Dark Shadows?
and c) duh, it's awesome you idiot
Well, to you, fictional sarcastic 14 year old boy who would like this film, I say, ok then. I'm glad you enjoyed it. But it's a bit crap, really, isn't it? Hmm? When you think about it a bit..? Isn't it? Don't you think? Yes? No? go to your room.
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