Dear Mr Zombie,
Thank you so much for your entry into the Rother Junior Film Maker competition, unfortunately, with so many entries from so many talented teenagers this year, you have not made the final 100.
When making a horror movie in future, we advise you dont cast your wife (if she only has sex with you if you cast her in films, we suggest marriage guidance or a divorce).
You should also consider ditching the cliche of the spooky…
Firstly, a small victory against against noisy, inconsiderate cinema goers. Party of four sat next to us, the fat guy next to me, took his top off. Yes, took his fucking shirt off. Then they started talking, passing popcorn to each other, made seven toilet trips between them....SEVEN !!! We weren't even an hour in. Slurp, chomp, rustle, talk, up, down.... I lent over, said something i probably shouldn't, fat guy stood up, announced he was going to be sick,…