The Sweeney 2012 ½

Not sure where to start....umm..... soundtrack, why not.

Booming, honking Inception style, and a quick google reveals that the soundtrack is by a Hans Zimmer flunkie who did 'additional music' on Batman, Transformers, Inception. It sounds like a cheap knock off of those, because well....it is. Which is fine, when graced with a breathtaking chase in a collapsing city. Not so much in a pool hall in Dalston.

Next, the story. I have no idea what this was about, some Serbians who may or may not have done something to somebody for some reason and then a bank and someone gets shot and then i dont fucking know.......

The cast. The bloke from Homeland (awful), some bloke from BBC drama, may have been on Doctor Who (awful), Ray Winstone (playing Ray Winstone) and of course Plan B. I had to defer to one of music afficinados for the run down on him, "uses negative reinforcement of inner city London to sell music" That seems about right to me, because he portrays every negative stereotype in this too. Whilst on the subject of Plan B, he looks about 15, he's supposed to be a former junkie, and he's now a senior police officer. Riiiight.....

Talking of the Police, they do special make believe Police work, where they gatecrash armed robberies and shout, "Stop, Armed Police!!!!", which is fine, but then they are armed with baseball bats. Police issue baseball bats, to foil heavily armed robbers.

We cant go without addressing Ray Winstones love interest. Him and his enormous, and elderly stomach are shagging his very attractive young colleague, no, not now, not ever.

Visually, this is a pile of shit. They've nicked all those London aerial shots from The Apprentice, but the action takes place, well..... nowhere interesting, inside offices and pool halls, my favourite, the massive finale, as filmed by Top Gear, is a Ford driving round a caravan site in Gravesend.

I remember the original Sweeney, it was ace.

This is a piece of shit.

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