Transformers: Dark of the Moon ★★½

On the one hand it had Alan Tudyk channelling Sacha Baron Cohen's Brüno, on the other hand it's not directed by Uwe Boll. Rock / Hard Place.

To be fair, it's not as bad as 2 (Rock / Hard Place) and the simplified robot designs make it marginally easier to see what's going on (BOOM! CRASH! EXPLOOOOOOOSION! smoke!) but Shia's definitely bored (or, at least, lost the will to act) and everyone else should just be embarrassed (Malkovich!).

Also, what's with borrowing footage from The Island? The budget can't have been that tight surely? Disappointingly, no robots get kicked in the swingers. Michael Bay should though, I'd film that and make a movie out of it.

Plot-wise (hah!), Box-McGuffin from 2 was at least better thought out than Stick-McGuffins in this: If they're placed all around the world, surely they'd all be pointing up to different sections of the sky, or did I miss something? Maybe I don't want to know (Moon Rock / Dark Place).

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