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  • I, Frankenstein 2014

    ½ Watched 16 Dec, 2014

    It, FranklyStinks.

  • Time Lapse 2014

    ★★★★ Watched 10 Dec, 2014 2

    This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.

  • Stand Up Guys 2012

    ★★ Watched 04 Apr, 2014

    No, no, no please, sit down guys!

  • 2012 2009

    ★½ Watched 19 Oct, 2014 11

    Tasting Notes

    Somehow this was not on my NotWatchlist. Too late now.

    This is less fun than it has a right to be. So wide in scope that any attempt at creating a human centre is lost in perfunctory extra characters and sub-plots, what science is on offer is mostly illogical and insulting and it's just so bum-numbingly long!
    Lopping out half of film (maybe even at random!) would probably result in a better movie.
    If the apocalypse ever arrives,…

  • Oldboy 2013

    Watched 27 Sep, 2014

    What fucking film did Sharlto Copely think he was in? And what fucking film did Spike Lee think he was making to let him get away with it?

  • The Lookalike 2014

    ★★½ Watched 23 Sep, 2014

    We hear drug lord William Spinks has an obsession and requests a meeting with a lovely girl called Sadie Hill. He uses family friends Bobby and Frank to organise the rendezvous. But when the unfortunate Sadie's surprise death jeopardises a major drug deal before the meeting can take place, Bobby and Frank set out to find a replacement Sadie, a lookalike(!), to fool Spinks. Their plan propels a group of friends loosely related to the situation in to a shady…

  • Syrup 2013

    Watched 26 Aug, 2014 4

    Absolutely 'Fukking' awful*.

    *Except Amber Heard obvs.

  • Filth 2013

    ★★★½ Watched 20 Aug, 2014

    And there was me thinking that Miniatur Wunderland was the only tourist attraction in Hamburg.

  • Guardians of the Galaxy 2014

    ★★★★½ Watched 11 Aug, 2014 6

    James Gunn: I have a plot
    Other Marvel Writer/Directors: You've got a plot? Okay, first of all, you're copying us from when we said we had a plot.
    James Gunn: I'm not copying you, I have a plot, that's not that unique of a thing to say.
    Other Marvel Writer/Directors: And secondly, we don't think you even have a plot.
    James Gunn: I have part of a plot.
    Other Marvel Writer/Directors: What percentage of a plot do you have?

  • The Armstrong Lie 2013

    ★★★½ Watched 11 Jul, 2014

    A fleshing out of the story, rather than revealing anything controversial we didn't already know (Armstrong had been pushed to do that all by himself), this documentary still feels as though it's somewhat sympathetic to one of the biggest cheats sport in general has ever witnessed (or caught, at any rate).

    Some day there will be a documentary that will see through the murk and explain the many grey areas surrounding road cycling as a sport in the late 90s…

  • The Saint 1997

    ★★ Rewatched 27 May, 2014

    This gets an entire star for the soundtrack alone: Orbital, Daft Punk, Duran Duran, Underworld, Fluke, Smashing Pumpkins, Bowie, it's seriously good. Unlike the film, which on a re-watch and in hindsight is disappointing, an unlikely blip on Phillip Noyce's middling-to-good action CV (well this and Sliver but the idea here had so much more promise/no Billy Baldwin). Too dour to be fun, too silly to be a proper action thriller, The Saint's tone is all over the shop. Perhaps Kilmer would have been better advised bringing more of the devilish charm for which he is so well known.

  • The Internship 2013

    ★★ Watched 17 May, 2014

    Oooooh look, a G**gle PR stunt with the novelty of a Vaughn/Wilson man-child double act.