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  • Suicide Squad

    Suicide Squad

    Katie

    ★★

    the sexual tension between me and the theater exit door during this

  • La La Land

    La La Land

    Lucy

    ★★★★★

    me: i hate musicals
    la la land: Hello
    me: rat a tat jazzy jazz Tap Tap skado Doodle Do ta-da! rootin tootin BEE BOOP shimmy shimmy SHOOP!

  • The Danish Girl

    The Danish Girl

    Sally Jane Black

    To my cisgender friends, I ask that, even if you would not normally do so, you please read this. This film was made for cisgender people, so I feel it important that I write this for cisgender people. I would not normally watch this movie, but it has been a subject of some discussion on this site in a way that has compelled me to watch it in order to discuss it credibly. I do not imagine what I have…

  • Patriots Day

    Patriots Day

    josh lewis

    a feature length adaptation of blue lives matter twitter and that one interview article where mark wahlberg said he'd have single-handedly prevented 9/11 had he been on one of the hijacked planes

  • Frozen

    Frozen

    DirkH

    ★★★

    Daughter 1: Daddy, can we watch Frozen?

    Me: Sure thing, honey. Does your brother want to watch as well?

    Son: What's it about?

    Daughter 1: Oh it's about princesses and true love!

    Son - blank stare-

    Daughter: and there's a snow monster.

    Son: Let's roll.

    -movie finishes, Daughter 1 is blaring Let it Go at the top of her lungs-

    Me: What'd you think, buddy?

    -Son gives me a look-

    Me: C'mon, wasn't that bad was it?

    Son (these are…

  • Under the Skin

    Under the Skin

    James Haves

    What.

    What?

    I don't get it.

    So?

    I don't get it.

    At least give it a rating.

    But I don't get it.

    Was it good?

    Yes.

    Would you recommend it?

    I don't know.

    How does that work?

    I don't know.

    What?

    What?

    Just give it 2 1/2 or something.

    I can't.

    Why?

    Because it's good.

    Then what's the issue?

    I don't know.

    For fuck's sake.

    I don't understand it. It confused me.

    Just your plebian mind.

    Fuck you.

    Fuck you.…

  • American Beauty

    American Beauty

    Lucy

    ★★★★★

    imagine going over to ricky's house for a dime bag and he's just sitting there watching a video he recorded of a dead cat in a dumpster or something and he senses your presence and says "i watch this every day at exactly 3:41pm. it reminds me that i'm not alone in the world" and then he starts crying and you're just like "ricky... the weed"

  • Edge of Tomorrow

    Edge of Tomorrow

    Matt Singer

    ★★★★

    This is one of those movies where a guy is stuck in a time loop.

    This is one of those movies where a guy is stuck in a time loop. And every time he redoes something, he learns a little.

    This is one of those movies where a guy is stuck in a time loop. And every time he redoes something, he learns a little. It's also the rare summer blockbuster that is very well-written; funny, smart, and it all…

  • Gone Girl

    Gone Girl

    Wesley R. Ball

    ★★★★★

    Whenever I think about getting back together with my ex, I watch this film. Works like a charm every time.

  • Carol

    Carol

    davidehrlich

    ★★★★★

    probably as close as I'll ever come to knowing what it feels like to find Jesus.

    ---------------------------------

    UPDATE: i found jesus. Carol was better.

  • Trainspotting

    Trainspotting

    Steve G

    ★★★★½

    Choose Letterboxd. Choose films. Choose downloading the app. Choose paying money for a membership just so you don’t have to see some fucker adding 500 films to their watchlist. Choose following a few thousand people and then never reading a fucking word they say. Choose writing “Read the full review on my website!” knowing full well no cunt is ever going to follow that link. Choose asking Sally Jane Black to watch Rogue Nation and then seeing her do a…

  • Grown Ups 2

    Grown Ups 2

    DirkH

    ½

    $246,984,278 worldwide.

    Our species does not deserve to live.

  • Fifty Shades of Grey

    Fifty Shades of Grey

    Simon Ramshaw

    ★½

    Eyes Wide Shit.

  • Inherent Vice

    Inherent Vice

    Matt Singer

    ★★★½

    Every ticket to INHERENT VICE should come with the choice of a joint or a second ticket to INHERENT VICE. You will need one or the other.

  • Warcraft

    Warcraft

    SilentDawn

    15/100

    Me: Hi, I'd like one ticket for Warcraft please.

    Ticket guy: Did you bring your strategy guide?

    Me: Wait, what?

    Ticket guy: Have you played The Burning Crusade and Wrath of The lich King?

    Me: Waitwaitwait...slow down.

    Ticket guy: What about Cataclysm, Mists of Pandaria, and Warlords of Draenor?

    Me: I don't even know what a Draenor is.

    Ticket guy: Are you excited for Legion?

    Me: Is that based on the demon movie with Dennis Quaid?

    *Ticket guy sighs, rips ticket, and points the way towards the auditorium*

    Ticket guy: Good luck.

  • The Social Network

    The Social Network

    sree

    ★★★★★

    me: i should get some sleep i have a lot to do in the morning
    my brain: hey remember when eduardo's shares were diluted down to 0.03%?

  • My Neighbor Totoro

    My Neighbor Totoro

    David Jenkins

    ★★★★★

    No plot.
    No central character.
    No antagonist.
    No defined purpose for side characters.
    No threat.
    No three acts.
    No jokes.
    No punchlines.
    No explanations.
    No internal references.
    No catchphrases.
    No political polemical voice.
    No melodrama.
    No lessons.
    No beginning.
    No end.
    One of the best films ever made.

  • Children of Men

    Children of Men

    Adam Cook

    ★★★★★

    Although highly regarded by many I'm still not convinced it is appreciated as much as it should be. For me this is one of the finest science fiction films of all time, perhaps not as influential as Metropolis, Blade Runner et al but every bit as brilliant.

    It manages to achieve what many sci-fi films do not, it manages to not only deliver a unique dystopic concept but also deliver a rich and moving emotional journey too. Too often genre…