Chicago’s hottest club is a midtown tech company called Zenotek Data Storage Systems, and it has everything: Santa Claus sitting on the Iron Throne, Kate McKinnon playing a flatulent HR lady, and — most importantly — a lethal dose of Baniston (that’s that thing where Jason Bateman and Jennifer Aniston exhume the toxic non-chemistry they’ve already brought to four other, even more excruciating comedies). 50 times longer than the unrelated “SNL” sketch of the same name and somehow featuring half…
"Why don't we invite him in?"
"No animals in the house, sweetheart."
Goes right into a certain pile of movies (The Big Lebowski, Inherent Vice, The Long Goodbye) which utilize comedic trappings to explore emptiness, loss, and the strangling grip of capitalism. The tightest, snappiest, most deceptively beautiful screenplay in years.
The first year I really began to feel like myself was probably 1991, when I turned 17, maybe the next year, when I turned 18. The last year I really began to feel like myself was 1995, when I was 21, with a slight return in 2009 at 35, until my brain injury in 2010 at 36. Why those years? Because that was when I could wear a skirt, a dress, a power-blazer, barrettes in my hair, flower-garlands and feel…
"what if THE SOCIAL NETWORK... but about big macs?"
yeah sure i guess that could be interesting.
"okay great let me just write a script on this napkin and hire the guy behind THE BLIND SIDE to direct it."
wait what no
"your awards screener is already in the mail"
does it at least come with fries?
"no, only a very funny joke about how you should consider michael keaton for best actor. now get out of my office."
Nothing says extra sticky butter popcorn munchin' at its most macho of action adrenaline junkie rushes quite like Michael Bay's The Rock. It has a cast to Die Hard for, insane action, loud booming sound and full on BayNess.
The cast is bananas. Nic Cage is full tilt loco. Sean Connery brings his 007 swag. Ed Harris doesn't go all Man in Black as the sympathetic baddie. Michael Biehn gets to play his character from Navy Seals. That's not all!…
Here's some haphazard thoughts until I see this fucking thing *at least* 5 more times:
1. Chan-Wook Park's sense of control, of timing, of maneuvering around spaces equally expansive and confined is exquisite. Just exquisite.
2. The Handmaiden, if nothing else, is wild (ie: over-the-fucking-top, bonkers, insane) from beginning to end. You just don't see it right away.
3. Male gaze is reflective; confidence in kinks and sexual luridness never wavers.
4. Tasty in so many ways. A mirage…
House of Wax deserves for you to at least give it a chance. I believe it's criminally underrated and one of the most entertaining horror movies of the 2000s.
A lot of the hate comes from the casting of Paris Hilton. Remember, this movie was released before social media took over your life, and your cellphone was your acquaintance and not your best friend. Paris had some fun one night with a green screen and had a reality show. She…
Beauty is not everything, it is the only thing that matters, how the film portrays its subjects is the only thing that matters, Refn made me see movies as nothing more than moving images, hyper-stylized, hypnotic, soothing, a phantasmagoria of strobe lights, uniform colors, red to blue to red to blue, the purple sky dropping glitter as if the entire world is artificial -- a perfume commercial, dark lipstick suppressing the face's glow, Elle Fanning enclosed in a triangle stare as deadly as a mountain cat's, honestly, what plot? We don't walk into a fashion show asking for plot, just sit back and --
Two people. A diner. Conversation. It is Michael Mann's solace; a place for connection, empathy, understanding. Coffee boils while the night burns with sinister, aching glory through the windows. While shootouts and modern cowboys have become a Mann staple, it is the moments where they sit down with a lover or an opponent and discuss their processes, their structure, their confinement which echo across his narratives. Thief, as Mann puts it, is a 3 dimensional maze and nighttime is…
I can not put into words how happy this movie made me.
Ron Clements and John Musker have and always will be two of my heroes. Ever since I saw "The Little Mermaid" for the first time about three years ago, I've never been the same. They awoke something deep inside my heart that very few people did. The only others who have come close to doing the same magic are, most recently in fact, Charlie Kaufman and Duncan Jones.…
The most realistic Christmas movie ever made. (I'm dead serious. The only deception of Black Friday like shopping mobs around the holiday season that are this true to the ones that happen in real life is the opening of "Krampus")
I wish Sinbad was my mail man.
Young Anakin still can't act.
Arnold Screams a lot.
Nothing makes sense.
There's a part where a Little Person actor gets punched across a warehouse by a buff dude as a mob of…
Some people struggle to find sympathy for Shia LaBeouf, a talented young actor whose career has so violently careened from studio blockbusters to outsider art projects that it often seems like he’s trolling the entire planet, but to watch him in Dito Montiel’s disastrous “Man Down” — to see how hard he throws himself even into a movie that nothing else going for it — is to recognize once and for all that LaBeouf is a performer who never shows…
Andy Samberg owns my ass.
I don't know what it is about him and his crew that tickles my funny bone to the point where I'm on the verge of crying/dying of lack of oxygen, but I don't care because this was absolutely hilarious.
Probably not on the same level as "The Nice Guys" or "The Mermaid" and runs itself a bit thin towards the end, but still ends up being consistently funny thanks to perfect frame work, wonderful chemistry…