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  • Warcraft

    Warcraft 2016

    SilentDawn Watched by SilentDawn 28 Jun, 2016 33

    15/100

    Me: Hi, I'd like one ticket for Warcraft please.

    Ticket guy: Did you bring your strategy guide?

    Me: Wait, what?

    Ticket guy: Have you played The Burning Crusade and Wrath of The lich King?

    Me: Waitwaitwait...slow down.

    Ticket guy: What about Cataclysm, Mists of Pandaria, and Warlords of Draenor?

    Me: I don't even know what a Draenor is.

    Ticket guy: Are you excited for Legion?

    Me: Is that based on the demon movie with Dennis Quaid?

    *Ticket guy sighs, rips ticket, and points the way towards the auditorium*

    Ticket guy: Good luck.

  • Spaceballs

    Spaceballs 1987

    ★★★★★ Arielrocks5 Rewatched by Arielrocks5 28 Jun, 2016 50

    It was at this point, Cinema Peaked. We have yet to make a film this perfect again. I could, and have, seen this movie a million times and it has yet to get old for me. Each joke gets funnier each time I watch it and I always find something new to admire as time goes on.

    Happy Birthday, Mel Brooks. And happy birthday to me.

    May The Schwartz Be With You!

    (Here's a much better review than this one.

    Enjoy. )

  • Everybody Wants Some

    Everybody Wants Some 2016

    ★★★★ Todd Gaines Watched by Todd Gaines 25 Jun, 2016 34

    The unofficial official sequel to Dazed and Confused finds Jake, a college freshman baseball pitcher, spending the weekend before classes start, hanging out with his new teammates, and doing the things you would expect a college kid to do. 

    Dazed and Confused is comfort food to me. I've seen it more times than I can count, and it's not only my favorite Richard Linklater film, it's easily one of my favorite movies of all time. This isn't officially a Dazed…

  • Only God Forgives

    Only God Forgives 2013

    ★★★★ Arielrocks5 Watched by Arielrocks5 25 Jun, 2016 55

    I expected to hate this. Everyone said I was going to hate it. I guess everyone, including myself, were wrong.

    Go figure.

    "Only God Forgives" is one of those movies that if you hate, you simply didn't get it. Or if you love, you're labeled a pretentious idiot reading into something that isn't there. At least from what I've heard personally around the web. When it comes to subtext, again, I'm not exactly the best one to read into it.…

  • Finding Dory

    Finding Dory 2016

    ★★★★ Arielrocks5 Watched by Arielrocks5 28 Jun, 2016 49

    Well! I'll be damned!

    Here I was thinking that I just growing out of Pixar, since I've been left with nothing but disappointment in their last few efforts ("Inside Out", "The Good Dinosaur", etc) and what with the very idea of a follow up to one of my favorite films of all time was already a tip off to lack of creative ideas under the hood.

    Yet for a film that practically has no real reason to exist, "Finding Dory"…

  • The Neon Demon

    The Neon Demon 2016

    ★★★★★ nathaxn walker Watched by nathaxn walker 25 Jun, 2016 17

    P U R E T E R R O R


    The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is Nicolas Winding Refn's favorite movie. This is not immaterial to what follows. To discover that you are within a universe of fear, of unstoppable dread, of the total loss of agency. A universe made from rules inimical to your well-being, a universe that will consume you whole with extreme malevolence, indifferent or pleasured by your confusion, your suffering. In some movies there is a sense…

  • The Neon Demon

    The Neon Demon 2016

    ★★★★★ Evan Watched by Evan 21 Jun, 2016 35

    The Neon Demon is a lot of things. Transcendent, hypnotic, and stylish are a few words that come to mind. This film had me hooked from the beginning credit sequence and it never let me go. I'm still in kind of a daze to be honest. Every frame of The Neon Demon is executed to absolute perfection. I cannot give the visuals enough praise. Honestly this is one of the best looking films I have ever seen. It's a five-course…

  • Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

    Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice 2016

    ★★★★ SilentDawn Rewatched by SilentDawn 29 Jun, 2016 7

    Previously a 70, now an 80

    Zack Snyder's divisive superhero epic has grown in stature and mythical resonance with the Ultimate Edition, a home-video release with around 30 minutes of new footage. Fans of Batman v Superman are currently rejoicing and haters are skeptical, but the real truth lies right in the middle. This is merely a vision fulfilled and freed from the constraints of studio meddling, showcasing a film of bombastic grace and anguished feeling in its full glory,…

  • Piper

    Piper 2016

    ★★★½ Arielrocks5 Watched by Arielrocks5 28 Jun, 2016 12

    Really cute and stunningly animated! Lovely music too! It's a bit thin, but still lovely to watch.

    ...even if a group of teenagers in a row next to me wouldn't shut the fuck up while it was going on and made me want to burn the theater down to the ground.

    I will forever hate you, random group of people I'll most likely never see again.

  • The Shallows

    The Shallows 2016

    ★★★★★ SilentDawn Watched by SilentDawn 24 Jun, 2016 16

    95/100

    Jaume Collet-Serra's filmography is one built out of double take genre films; a collection of slashers and junk-food action pictures which, at first glance, seem predictable until their formally precise movements and images come out into the forefront. Collet-Serra understands the very idea of creating a smooth, elegant thriller without succumbing to unrefined cliches or cheap tricks. His camera is tranquil until it's not, a matter of tension over unnecessary variation within the frame, and the overall experience is…

  • The Shallows

    The Shallows 2016

    ★★★★½ josh lewis Watched by josh lewis 24 Jun, 2016 1

    not sure anyone asked for or wanted Finding Nemo meets The Babadook but here we are

  • The Legend of Tarzan

    The Legend of Tarzan 2016

    ★½ davidehrlich Watched by davidehrlich 29 Jun, 2016 2

    “No one ever started with less.” The only interesting detail about the phenomenally uninteresting hero of “The Legend of Tarzan” is a stray observation that “No one ever started with less.” On the contrary: The film completely glosses over its namesake’s evolution from poop-flinging jungle hunk to tea-stirring British Lord. Separately, that throwaway line is vaguely applicable to the film itself. Whereas upcoming tentpoles like “Suicide Squad” and “Jason Bourne” will enjoy the momentum afforded to them by their respective…

  • Swiss Army Man

    Swiss Army Man 2016

    ★★★★½ Eli Hayes Watched by Eli Hayes 29 Jun, 2016 4

    subverts the entire notion of "low brow" by inherently transforming what is considered low brow and crude into something high brow and clever, even profound. maybe not my absolute favorite film of the year but quite possibly the most creative and imaginative film of '16. also taps into the subconscious of its protagonist in such a hilarious and fantastical way that I can guarantee you've never seen a character study done even remotely in this fashion. and my god, that…

  • Zootopia

    Zootopia 2016

    ★★★★ Travis Lytle Watched by Travis Lytle 24 Jun, 2016 2

    An animated comedy-adventure whose visual wit and commitment to detail outweigh the more routine beats of its story, Disney's "Zootopia" is a spry and clever piece of work. With its delightful character designs, well-placed vocal talent, and sharp allegory, the film rates is a smart and entertaining winner.

    Taking place in the animal-run city of Zootopia, "Zootopia" focuses on a small-town bunny who, along with a sly fox, drives an investigation into the city's spate of predator disappearances. The story…

  • Cape Fear

    Cape Fear 1991

    ★★★★½ SilentDawn Rewatched by SilentDawn 26 Jun, 2016 5

    88/100

    A riotous pressure-cooker of a thriller allows Scorsese to burst free in vivid, delightful ways, embracing Hollywood formula while putting his own stamp on a previously night and day fairytale classic seeped in shadow and morals. De Niro and Lewis are simply dynamite together, and Scorsese allows cliche to meld right with subversion. Scorsese has never missed a chance to fill his atmospheres with cries of the struggling faithful, but a modern family consumed by inklings of infidelity and teenage rebellion feels almost *too* perfect, right down to the hellish, bombastic climax complete with a De Niro/Nolte faceoff. We should have more Slashers like this.

  • Independence Day: Resurgence

    Independence Day: Resurgence 2016

    ★½ Tasha Robinson Watched by Tasha Robinson 26 Jun, 2016 9

    Is this three-fourths of a movie? There are some transitions in this thing that are just incomprehensible in terms of moving characters from one place to the next instantaneously, and there are several points where characters seem to be referencing past events that never happened onscreen. New characters abruptly appear out of nowhere and are treated as though they have backstories and are relevant and interesting. Magical technology works until it abruptly doesn't, at convenient moments and for no clear…

  • Super 8

    Super 8 2011

    ★★★★½ Wes Ball Rewatched by Wes Ball 28 Jun, 2016 3

    A magnificent spectacle of sound design and special effects, JJ Abrams' Super 8 is a heartfelt tribute to everything 70's, whether it be classic songs of the time, or the nostalgic feeling in the traditional alien plot. It's like Cloverfield and E.T. had a beautiful baby. Abrams follows the traditional rules of classic monster movies, being careful never to reveal the creature until near the end, much like he did in Cloverfield. While some of the acting from the kids…

  • The Legend of Tarzan

    The Legend of Tarzan 2016

    ★½ Matt Singer Watched by Matt Singer 22 Jun, 2016

    In the film’s final setpiece, all of the Congo’s wild beasts rampage through a Belgian settlement while Tarzan makes a final push to save Jane from Rom. Something in this image of a foreign power invading this unspoiled land, stripping it of its natural resources, and leaving it a smoldering ruin, feels like a metaphor for the way Hollywood strip-mines famous brands for content. Even though The Legend of Tarzan doesn’t directly continue any specific movie, it’s structured just like…