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  • Pixels

    Pixels 2015

    Evan Watched by Evan 23 Jul, 2015 37

    Tonight I did a double feature. I saw Southpaw at 7 and Pixels at 9:35. However, the guy at the ticket counter thinks I saw Southpaw at both 7 and 9:35. I refuse to give Adam Sandler any of my money and I'm glad he didn't get my money because this movie fucking sucks.

    Adam Sandler isn't even the worst thing about this movie, Peter Dinklage is. He was seriously so terrible. Why would you do this to yourself Peter Dinklage WHY!?

    I kind of hate video games now. Fuck you Pixels. I'm going to go sell my Nintendo 64.

  • Trainwreck

    Trainwreck 2015

    ★★★ matt lynch Watched by matt lynch 20 Jul, 2015 4

    I believe it was Howard Hawks who said "A good movie is a handful of reasonably funny scenes and like eight garbage improv-y momentum-killing ones, and a bunch of cameos, whatever, I don't know."

  • Minions

    Minions 2015

    SilentDawn Watched by SilentDawn 17 Jul, 2015 53

    Well, fuck.

    OK, so I didn't have any expectations for this, but considering how much I enjoyed the two Despicable Me installments, and especially the moments with the minions, I thought I would enjoy myself.

    I made an unspeakable, vile, agonizing, shitty mistake.

    From the opening Universal logo and theme, sung by the minions with their usual glee, I felt like I was beamed into a special corner of Hell, handcrafted and designed just for me. A headache instantly stung…

  • Navy Seals

    Navy Seals 1990

    ★★★ Todd Gaines Rewatched by Todd Gaines 20 Jul, 2015 30

    An evil terrorist has in his possession missiles of mass destruction. He's already shot down an airplane, and he's threatening to unleash his own version of the Evil Empire. So, what do you do if you're the U S of A? You bring in the boys who do the dirty work. The fellas who never get the credit they deserve. The macho maniacs, who do the very very bad bad things during the night, so the rest of us can…

  • Ant-Man

    Ant-Man 2015

    ★★★★ Evan Watched by Evan 17 Jul, 2015 8

    Admittedly, I'm not much of a comic book reader. Prior to this film's announcement, I had never even heard of a Super-Hero called Ant-Man. When I first heard about this film, I thought to myself is Marvel really making a film about a Super-Hero called "Ant-Man" and releasing it in the middle of the summer? Then Paul Rudd got casted as this Hero Ant. I thought to myself can Paul Rudd really pull off playing s Super-Hero? Edgar Wright dropping…

  • Kung Fu Jungle

    Kung Fu Jungle 2014

    ★★★ Todd Gaines Watched by Todd Gaines 25 Jul, 2015 37

    There's a serial killer running rampant all over the streets of Hong Kong. Who's his targets? Well, he's after the kung fu experts. You know, the fellas who are top-notch at boxing, kicking, grappling, and weapons. He wants to kill the best of the best. He wants to be the ultimate kung fu champion. If Ric Flair has taught us anything it's "to be the man, you gotta beat the man." So, who's the man? Well, that would be Donnie…

  • It Follows

    It Follows 2014

    ★★★★½ Peaceful Stoner Rewatched by Peaceful Stoner 15 Jul, 2015 30

    It Follows. But what is It? Is it an embodiment of your guilt? Is it a reflection of your emptiness? Is it a representation of all that is lustful, desirous and odious within one's soul? A fleeting moment of passion, a momentary drive of heedlessness that can inflict, ail and haunt you for life. So, is it a realization of one's own regret caused by sexual waywardness? Does it follow only if the intercourse is driven by lust and is…

  • In the Mood for Love

    In the Mood for Love 2000

    ★★★★★ SilentDawn Watched by SilentDawn 21 Jul, 2015 20

    A rigid corner of a darkened stairway starts to cool. Only after a woman brushes her hand against the surface, the tactile imprint lingers and marks the feeling of the area. The man soon comes along, hungry for a meal of noodles within the smoky underground restaurant. It isn't just the sight of another woman that excites him, It's the feeling. The mood. The lightness and overwhelming fluttering of whimsy and sensuality.

    He longs for her, and that connection shifts…

  • Magic Mike XXL

    Magic Mike XXL 2015

    ★★★★ Vadim Rizov Watched by Vadim Rizov 18 Jul, 2015 6

    Magic Mike XXL is a putatively "modest"/"small" film — $14.8 million budget, 28-day shooting schedule, a shambling road movie meant to showcase extended musical numbers and largely excising the first film's recessionary panic. (Business is discussed, specifically the hustle of running a small business, but it's not the dominant throughline motivating everything as in the first, a line of inquiry Soderbergh pursued in Erin Brockovich, Bubble and The Girlfriend Experience, in ways that increasingly played like a meta-text about his…

  • Southpaw

    Southpaw 2015

    ★★★½ Evan Watched by Evan 23 Jul, 2015 3

  • Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!

    Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! 2015

    ★★★★★ Alex Vlad Watched by Alex Vlad 23 Jul, 2015 9

    Best movie ever created.

  • The Grand Budapest Hotel

    The Grand Budapest Hotel 2014

    ★★★★ CinemaClown Rewatched by CinemaClown 19 Jul, 2015 6

    Since the dawn of cinema, many filmmakers have left an indelible mark in the film industry for they employed a number of tricks or styles that made their motion pictures stand out from the rest. And in their attempt to do the same thing differently, they didn’t only influence a wide range of filmmakers who followed them or were inspired by their works but those directors’ signatures & trademarks also pushed the art of filmmaking forward with time. Every director has…

  • Ant-Man

    Ant-Man 2015

    ★★½ SilentDawn Watched by SilentDawn 18 Jul, 2015 18

    I don't even know why I see these films. The MCU, in spite of The Avengers installments and a few select other entries, doesn't work for me. So, I went into Ant-Man expecting something different. It looked smaller, more grounded, and less bombastic in its excessive popcorn storytelling. I was right, but that doesn't mean that it was necessarily a good thing.

    First off, can we stop the TV-style cinematography? I go to the movies to escape the realms of…

  • Mission: Impossible III

    Mission: Impossible III 2006

    ★★★★½ CinemaClown Watched by CinemaClown 23 Jul, 2015 6

    The third instalment in the Mission: Impossible film series is also the very first that manages to get every single thing right for the film is an intensely engaging, relentlessly paced & absolutely thrilling sequel that packs in a highly riveting plot, crazy stunts, cool gadgets & explosive action to succeed as the best chapter of its franchise and is impressive enough to rank amongst the finest examples of its genre(s).

    The story of Mission: Impossible III concerns Ethan Hunt who has…

  • Akira

    Akira 1988

    ★½ Dirk van Eck Watched by Dirk van Eck 24 Jul, 2015 28

    Thirteenth watch of Japanese July. A brief synopsis of Akira. It's 1988 and Tokio is destroyed. It’s 2019 and Neo-Tokyo is awesome. Kaneda yells: “Tetsuo!” Tetsuo yells: “Kaneda!” *Explosion* Tetsuo yells: “Kaneda!!” Kaneda yells: “Tetsuo!!” Some more beautiful animation. *Explosion* Kaneda yells: “Tetsuo!!!” Tetsuo yells: “Kaneda!!!” MIND BATTLE. Bodily mutations, so many bodily mutations. “Kaneda…” “Tetsuo!” *EXPLOSIONS* “Tetsuooooooooooooo!” MIND BATTLE. More stellar animation, yet another explosion, another mind battle and some more explosions. “Kanedaaaaaaaaaaaaa!”

  • Ant-Man

    Ant-Man 2015

    ★★★★ Alex Vlad Watched by Alex Vlad 21 Jul, 2015 4

    Ant-Man has hit the screens and it is so much more than many of us expected it to be. With all the production problems, delays and the departure of director/writer Edgar Wright and some actors, the project looked like it would be the first miss Marvel would have had in years. But, director Peyton Reed and the new members of the team managed to steer the ship in the right direction and Ant-Man turned out to be a fun and…

  • Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol

    Mission: Impossible - Ghost Protocol 2011

    ★★★★ CinemaClown Watched by CinemaClown 24 Jul, 2015 5

    The fourth instalment in the Mission: Impossible series continues the strong momentum this spy action franchise gained in the previous chapter and delivers yet another swashbuckling ride that promises loads of thrills, action, excitement, entertainment & spectacle from start to finish, and is also notable for marking a sensational live-action filmmaking debut for the animation wizard, Brad Bird.

    The story of Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol follows IMF Agent Ethan Hunt & his team whose latest mission in Russia is compromised when…

  • Southpaw

    Southpaw 2015

    ★★★ SilentDawn Watched by SilentDawn 24 Jul, 2015 2

    Southpaw, directed by Antoine Faqua, is a universal story. Success, tragedy, hopelessness, quests for redemption; It's all here and in pristine focus. Unfortunately, the story that accompanies these engaging themes is nothing less than stale. Beat by beat, montage by montage, fight by fight; Southpaw clumsily and at times beautifully revels in the predictability of the situation that the film's characters are involved in.

    However, no matter how well-oiled Southpaw is, the inconsistent direction and Faqua's inability to enhance the…