Basically the best possible version of a shitty student film, but that doesn't make it any less laughably bad.
The film consists of:
50% Awkward Pauses (which make 90 minutes feel like 900).
15% Pseudointellectual, metaphor-laden dialogue that thinks it's intellectual and subtle but somehow manages to be exactly the opposite, in addition to avoiding any sense of natural rhythm.
5% Eva Green hilariously overacting, as either a hilariously Dickensian ghost-like human or Elizabeth Taylor caricature.
5% Normally wonderful actors…
An incisive piece that examines the ways in which we deceive ourselves and others. A corrupt comedy with a heart as black and vitriolic as Fincher's own. A character study of the violent extremities that lie within us all. This is Gone Girl. And this is a masterpiece.
"Perception is reality." That's something my father had the good sense to teach me when I was young. Didn't matter who I was on the inside, didn't matter how much good I…
This film is actually excellent. I hadn't seen it since childhood, and now I remember why I liked it. It wasn't the jokes--they were childish and fairly inane and I recognized that back then as well. It was the plot, the characters, and the music. The drama of this story is alternately light and dark but always has a strong sense of character and narrative drive--Tarzan is actually a BRILLIANT drama, with some catchy songs. Also President Grant from Scandal is Tarzan. He would be Tarzan.