I'm too young to be nostalgic for the 70s, although the costumes are stunning.
Amy Adams is great. She must have very sticky nipples.
I struggled to take Louis CK seriously, which ruined his character, and Robert de Niro was a surprise when he turned up.
Actually, I'm struggling to think of a single sympathetic character in the all-star ensemble. I just didn't care for any of them.
And then... Elton John came to the rescue just as I was about to write it off entirely - you can't plant me in your penthouse, I'm going back to my plough.
This is a review of the first 38 minutes of this film
Am I old? Maybe I'm really old.
This just didn't do it for me at all.
Eventually I gave up and switched to watch live sport.
MS Donhi was hitting the Black Caps to all corners of the ground as India were chasing 297 to win, before skying a catch to Tim Southee, at which point the New Zealanders took control of the match.
And later, in the tennis, Roger Federer dominated Andy Murray to win his quarter final at the Australian Open.
So, there you go, even sweaty men trumped the Spring Breakers