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2-Headed Shark Attack 2012
Um... yup, for the most part, there was a 2-headed shark, who was probably the least offensive-lookin' cast member. It's an Asylum film with a CGI fish, containing all that is good and bad of al lits predecessors. And hey, double-blood-tits!
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Antfarm Dickhole 2011
Not quite a film, but a good advertisement for the director's silver tongue. And that this film exists at all makes me oddly happy.
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Bending The Rules 2012
"The Edge" is an immensely likable and entertaining chap, but his comedic sidekick and his entire plot thread is loathesome. In fact everyone who isn't Edgy Himself or Pruitt Vince are kinda bellends. And the stupid chief is stupid at EVERYONE. Stupid chief.
The film itself is a forgettable, convoluted buddy-cop flick, but worth it for the lead's performance.
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Bong of the Dead 2011
Surprisingly good tale of two guys using zombie-brains as pot fertiliser. Nothing remotely new, but what is? Blood tits at 1.16.38, too.
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Cockhammer
A relentless bout of overacting from the director, sex euphemisms using the term "piece" and drunken camera-wobble. A better drinking game than a film.
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Cohen and Tate 1988
Adam Baldwin does not age.
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Cyborg Cop II 1994
Not good but rarely dull, with puffy-jacketed cyborgs rushing into a slave uprising before ever getting to be, well, slaves. And hey, David Bradley's 3-Stooges fighting method (thanks Nick for that description) is quite good!
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Cyborg Cop III 1995
This film has more vests than cyborgs, no actual cops, and surprisingly Frank isn't one of the machine men. Other than thst I don't remember much, I'm afraid. I blame whiskey.
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Defcon 2012 2010
Well, I liked some of the soundtrack...
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Demon Wind 1990
An eighties film made in the nineties, the best bit being the haircuts. Othe than that the "Demons" were zombies who ooze yellow and never take headshots and the cast were infinitely disposable. Some fun with two magicians and some nice cinematography, though.
