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  • The Shallows

    The Shallows 2016

    ★★★★ Watched 26 Jun, 2016

    Not only does it deliver some righteous shark ownage, it also has an astonishingly effective story of female empowerment and fighting in the face of insurmountable odds.

    AND STEVEN SEAGULL.

  • Independence Day: Resurgence

    Independence Day: Resurgence 2016

    ★½ Watched 26 Jun, 2016

    I'm tired of these sequels that are so steeped in nostalgia for the original that they may as well be remakes: identical story-beats, takes on famous catchphrases, characters from the first that serve no purpose upon returning, etc. If I wanted the same movie again, I'd just watch the original-- because simply replicating many of the things that worked about the original won't make the new one good.

    Things I liked:
    - needed more of the African war-lord... actually, the…

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  • Sucker Punch

    Sucker Punch 2011

    ½ Rewatched 24 Aug, 2013 2

    In case you were wondering, this is still one the ugliest, most brainless, most unpleasant, and most fucking terrible movies made in your lifetime.

  • Jupiter Ascending

    Jupiter Ascending 2015

    ★★★★ Watched 05 Feb, 2015 2

    I read a lot of reviews that specifically called out the concept of bees sensing royalty as "stupid." I asked my Twitter followers why this bit about the bees was stupider than elements in critically-acclaimed sci-fi space operas, such as The Force or a talking tree that only says "I Am Groot." No one has given me an answer. Probably because there isn't one, other than "Because I like those movies, and I didn't like this one."

    I get not…