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  • Pixels

    Pixels 2015

    Watched 25 Jul, 2015

    Look at the poster to the left of this review. Pac-Man is INSANELY HUGE, so big that he swallows the entirety of San Francisco in a single chomp.

    I WANT TO SEE THAT MOVIE.

  • Gremlins 2: The New Batch

    Gremlins 2: The New Batch 1990

    ★★★★ Watched 24 Jul, 2015

    I can't believe this movie got made.

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  • Sucker Punch

    Sucker Punch 2011

    ½ Rewatched 24 Aug, 2013 2

    In case you were wondering, this is still one the ugliest, most brainless, most unpleasant, and most fucking terrible movies made in your lifetime.

  • Jupiter Ascending

    Jupiter Ascending 2015

    ★★★★ Watched 05 Feb, 2015 2

    I read a lot of reviews that specifically called out the concept of bees sensing royalty as "stupid." I asked my Twitter followers why this bit about the bees was stupider than elements in critically-acclaimed sci-fi space operas, such as The Force or a talking tree that only says "I Am Groot." No one has given me an answer. Probably because there isn't one, other than "Because I like those movies, and I didn't like this one."

    I get not…