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  • Deep Rising

    Deep Rising 1998

    ★★★½ Watched 27 Apr, 2016

    Spielberg/Hanks.
    Scorsese/DiCaprio.
    Sommers/O'Connor.

    Combines three things I love: monster movies, lost-at-sea movies, and movies stacked with tough-guy character actors. I fell for this movie at about the ten-minute mark, when they cut to Cliff Curtis, Djimon Hounsou, Wes Studi, Clifton Powell (!!), and Jason Flemyng all debating how to murder Kevin J. O'Connor.

    It's the type of movie where you get the big reveal of the monster, and then Treat Williams mutters, "Now *there's* something you don't see every day."…

  • Dick

    Dick 1999

    ★★★½ Watched 26 Apr, 2016

    It didn't make me laugh very often-- several bits land with a thud-- but the premise and execution are so goddamn clever and the handling of the main characters is so earnest and sweet that the end result is quite endearing.

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  • Sucker Punch

    Sucker Punch 2011

    ½ Rewatched 24 Aug, 2013 2

    In case you were wondering, this is still one the ugliest, most brainless, most unpleasant, and most fucking terrible movies made in your lifetime.

  • Jupiter Ascending

    Jupiter Ascending 2015

    ★★★★ Watched 05 Feb, 2015 2

    I read a lot of reviews that specifically called out the concept of bees sensing royalty as "stupid." I asked my Twitter followers why this bit about the bees was stupider than elements in critically-acclaimed sci-fi space operas, such as The Force or a talking tree that only says "I Am Groot." No one has given me an answer. Probably because there isn't one, other than "Because I like those movies, and I didn't like this one."

    I get not…