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  • When the Bough Breaks

    When the Bough Breaks 2016

    ★½ Watched 13 Sep, 2016

    There's a scene in which Regina Hall *begs* Morris Chestnut to have sex with the young beautiful woman, and he lets a single tear roll down his cheek. If that sounds awesome to you, I highly recommend the film. If it sounds awful to you, then for the love of God, avoid this like the plague.

    I enjoy movies like this, because God, the final product raises a thousand different questions. It's one of those movies where you can try…

  • Sully

    Sully 2016

    ★½ Watched 08 Sep, 2016

    AGENT: "Laura! Have I got a great role for you! It's in a Clint Eastwood movie!"
    LAURA LINNEY: "Great! Am I playing the concerned wife or the concerned mother?"
    AGENT: "... how did you know?"

    Up on nearly a decade without a good Clint movie. Aaron Eckhart can face off with Colin Farrell in The Lobster and Nic Cage in The Trust for 2016's Best Supporting Mustache in a Feature Film, though.

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  • Sucker Punch

    Sucker Punch 2011

    ½ Rewatched 24 Aug, 2013 2

    In case you were wondering, this is still one the ugliest, most brainless, most unpleasant, and most fucking terrible movies made in your lifetime.

  • Jupiter Ascending

    Jupiter Ascending 2015

    ★★★★ Watched 05 Feb, 2015 2

    I read a lot of reviews that specifically called out the concept of bees sensing royalty as "stupid." I asked my Twitter followers why this bit about the bees was stupider than elements in critically-acclaimed sci-fi space operas, such as The Force or a talking tree that only says "I Am Groot." No one has given me an answer. Probably because there isn't one, other than "Because I like those movies, and I didn't like this one."

    I get not…