Haywire 2012 ★½

Haywire (2011) Review

I’ll be honest and say I couldn’t make it through the first half hour of this film! Throughout my life I’ve always tried my best to sit films through till the very end no matter how bad it is, this is one of those rare exceptions where I just couldn’t bare it. I was unsure of what to expect of it coming in as the myriad of impressive names attached attracted me but the concept they were attached to seemed misplaced. It smelt like actors cashing in on their names.

It was beyond obvious early on that this film was made as a vehicle for the lead (Gina Carano, an attractive female MMA fighter) Mallory, a secret agent contractor who does “off the books” government jobs, the reason for which is her vendetta after being betrayed. There is one huge problem here though, THEY DUB THE MAIN CHARACTERS VOICE! This was obvious to me more than most, being an MMA fan and knowing her natural voice. Imagine trying to watch a video of your friend with someone’s voice over the top, it would get rather annoying would it not?

Despite that monumental flaw, the movie had to deal with being entirely mediocre all the way through it’s team. The big name actors in this film didn’t really get a look in, and when they did they managed to under perform at best. With Michael Fassbender, Antonio Banderas, Michael Douglas and Ewan McGregor you would’ve expected better. Bar Fassbender the film had moulded itself around overrated actors and an overrated director. The last good movie Soderbergh made was traffic in 2000. I usually reserve my critique for films that I feel I have much to say about, or that deserve the little promotion I can give it on here. Therefore you will very rarely find me wasting my time slating a film like this but I couldn’t overlook the dubbing as a massive mistake that needed to be pointed out. I’m surprised there wasn’t more of an uproar about it when it came out, despite them doing a serviceable job of the dubbing, it is still obvious. I expect it should still be a problem for the casual, un-informed audience, as it would seem that only one character has been dubbed or the audio is slightly out of sync. Just another problem this feature didn’t need ended up bringing it to its knee’s.

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