Parker ★ 4
This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.
The eighties were just a different time man, when you could pressure girls into sex because vampires.
Matt Singer ★½ 6
First third: This is why podcasts are podcasts and not movies.
Second third: THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE and marijuana are a dangerous combination.
Third third: Johnny Depp must be stopped.
Parker ★★½ 4
This flick speeds through zombie movies in about 10 minutes, then speeds through pre-Romero zombie lore and then gets to dumb crap like zombie parody songs and zombie walks and…
This movie is so goddamn weird and so goddamn funny.
Also: Mary Woronov in 1982 was the #1 A+ Fox.
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