So there I was, proudly putting on the last film of this project, thinking to myself how well I'd done that I'd managed to get to the end of it considering my well-earned reputation for failing to fulfil a project.
On goes the film, was rather enjoying the first 15 minutes (especially the soundtrack) - and then I fell asleep. Right to the end.
Why do I even bother :(
You can always tell a film has practically no budget when they have to use stock footage of air traffic control.
Just over an hour long, and mercifully so because Sky Liner is an incredibly boring and stupid spy / murder mystery set on a plane with a plot so ludicrous that even by the standards of this sort of thing it's completely stupid.
It's terribly acted by a no-name cast…
On the one hand, Tall Man Riding was a surprisingly enjoyable western, but on the other hand perhaps not quite so surprising seeing as though I almost always give Randolph Scott westerns 3.5 stars.
This one sees Scott give a slightly colder performance than usual, immersing himself in a well crafted and pretty good plot that has enough unpredictability right up to the last 30 seconds or so. But by that…
No film starring Lee Van Cleef, Ernest Borgnine and Klaus Kinski should ever have been this boring.
That said, I can't fully hate a film where Kinski is so openly and aggressively refusing to give any sort of relevant acting performance. There's almost an art to the way he keeps trying to move out of shot and even the dubbing can't mask his utter contempt for the dialogue he's having to deliver. It's anti-acting of the most brilliant kind.
In which two-thirds of Hollywood's greatest family steal the summer blockbuster that wasn't?
Baffling, in a summer of crap, underwhelming and under-performing blockbusters, that Deepwater Horizon was slung on halfway between summer and Christmas, especially considering how much they spent on this bloody thing.
After about 40 minutes, I was wondering where the hell the $165 million they spent on this went. I knew that everything was going to go mental in the second half, obviously, but not to the…
In which Dolph Lundgren escapes from a prison by asking a guard for a band aid.
It's just a shame there's not more of that kind of nonsense, otherwise Red Scorpion could have been an outright awesome film rather than a film with a few awesome bits in it. The main problem with it is an inexplicably slow bit in the middle where Lundgren escapes from another prison,…
This was The Magnificent Eight and Haley Bennett should have been on the poster.
It would also have made this the best western of the last 12 months with eight main characters in it. *poke, provoke*
The Magnificent Eight is a perfectly decent action western that has been accused of not trying anything new and therefore being a bit disappointing. Well, what did people expect from this? I personally think it would have taken a stupendous effort by all involved…
Enjoyable Hong Kong actioner that does still have at least two major things working against it.
It goes for a ridiculous downbeat ending that is even more ridiculous when played out against the usual jazzy 1980s Hong Kong action film soundtrack. This just minutes after the shock death of another character. Not quite the way to go, I don't think, in a film like this. I understand the…
I hate Sherlock Holmes.
I've always found him to be an arrogant, smartarse twat, and that's why my history with him has been a few of these Basil Rathbone / Nigel Bruce Holmes films watched when I was a kid (this was probably one of them) and those episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation that he's in and that's it. And those are about my least favourite episodes too.
Time Bomb is the name this is listed under here on Letterboxd, a far more accurate title than Terror On A Train.
When you see that latter title you probably, like I did, have visions of a passenger train full of hysterical punters panicking about an explosive charge being left on their locomotive by a nefarious villain, with heroic Hollywood star Glenn Ford racing to their rescue, and then, after defusing…
Gun Glory is one of those curious old films that was handed to a contract star as a punishment.
It's a practice that I have always found fascinating and absolutely bizarre. You are basically saying, "Yeah, we don't think this film will be much cop - so we'll give it to this person we don't like any more. That'll show 'em!" In this case it was handed to Stewart Granger after…