RSS feed for Geir
  • Silence

    Silence 1971

    ★★½ Watched 03 Dec, 2016

    Perhaps this is gripping stuff if you're a devout believer, but coming to Chinmoku from an atheist angle definitely saps the entire narrative of interest and drama. Mostly it becomes a tedious tale of missionary arrogance and man's ability to inflict cruelty on each other. The latter is even passed on to the audience, in the form of principal actor David Lampson's wince-inducing garbling of the Japanese dialog. Yeeesh! Easily a low point in Shinoda's filmography, and one can only hope that Scorsese's remake improves on the original's weak points, rather than expand on them...

  • Cave

    Cave 2016

    ★½ Watched 29 Aug, 2016 1

    Three ex-soldiers – two guys, one gal – reteam a few years after serving, to reforge old bonds and explore a remote cave system. Two of them were an item back then, now the other two are dating, and there’s palpable tension as the three of them head into the cave system.

    Cave divers are a special breed of people – very serious, focused, and meticulous when it comes to pursuing their pastime. They have to be, because cave diving…

  • Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley's Island of Dr. Moreau

    Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley's Island of Dr. Moreau 2014

    ★★★★ Watched 19 Aug, 2016

    "Knowing the odds were stacked against me, I resorted to witchcraft." – Richard Stanley

    The only thing this hugely entertaining behind the scenes documentary is missing (apart from the people who are no longer with us), is a few words from Grade A asshole Val Kilmer. Having suffered through the execrable The Island of Dr. Moreau, watching the story of how it all went so spectacularly wrong almost entirely makes up for it. And Richard Stanley certainly is one wonderfully weird, strange dude. It's too bad this disaster more or less pushed him out of filmmaking.

  • Jason Bourne

    Jason Bourne 2016

    ★★★½ Watched 25 Jul, 2016

    There's a decent amount of post-Snowden suspense and thrills lurking in the latest entry in the Bourne saga. Too bad the most high octane moments are all shrouded in the impenetrable veil of Chaos Cinema, courtesy of a deeply squirrely cinematographer, twitched up on military grade caffeine. Doug Liman's Bourne movie, with its legible action, easily remains the best of the series.

  • Extraction

    Extraction 2015

    ★½ Watched 06 Jul, 2016

    "Good skin is for potatoes and hookers."

    That unexpectedly goofy line is perhaps the most memorable thing about this relentlessly undercooked B-movie, featuring yet another phoned-in guest appearance by Bruce Willis, and not nearly enough Gina Carano.

  • Gods of Egypt

    Gods of Egypt 2016

    ★★★½ Watched 04 Jun, 2016 2

    According to popular opinion, I should mock and deride Alex Proyas' latest feature. But that would be dishonest. The truth is that I had a lot of fun with Gods of Egypt, and not at the movie's expense either. Honest fun!

    Sure, it's garish and wacky, and probably not particularly great, but it's also actually never dull, and even better, it's got a great, goofy, good-natured sense of humor. Nothing would have killed this movie stone dead more than it…

  • The Revenant

    The Revenant 2015

    ★★½ Watched 30 May, 2016

    A tedious and wildly overblown patchwork of squishy exploitation cinema and a faux Terrence Malick movie. Mostly a movie for fans of grunting.

  • X-Men: Apocalypse

    X-Men: Apocalypse 2016

    ★★½ Watched 18 May, 2016

    Particle animation: the Movie.

  • Deathgasm

    Deathgasm 2015

    ★★★ Watched 15 Apr, 2016

    Essentially a metal themed, feature length version of a RackaRacka Youtube video.

  • Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny

    Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny 2016

    ★★★ Watched 26 Feb, 2016 1

    Out on Netflix today, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny is more of a straight up action wuxia movie than its predecessor. Well worth watching if you're a fan of the genre – there are plenty of big names involved here, from Yuen Woo-Ping in the director's chair, to Michelle Yeoh and Donnie Yen as the leads, and music by Shigeru Umebayashi, to mention a few – but don't expect the artfulness and emotional heft of Ang Lee's original.…

  • The Island of Dr. Moreau

    The Island of Dr. Moreau 1996

    ½ Watched 15 Jan, 2016

    There is just no way everyone involved were not coked out their minds when making this. The evidence on display is simply too overwhelming.

  • The Hateful Eight

    The Hateful Eight 2015

    ★★½ Watched 05 Jan, 2016

    The short version is still too long.