Watched Jun 02, 2012
Silent J’s review:
In 1979: In space, no one could hear you scream.
In 1997: In space, no one gave a fuck.
I tried so hard to avoid watching this film. I have'nt heard good things about it and I wanted to keep my love for the Alien franchise intact. Then I thought, "Why not! Prometheus is about to come out so I might as well go in seeing all the Alien films. It can't be as bad as Alien 3. This can't be THAT bad!" and it was'nt THAT bad. It was much, much, much, much, MUCH worse.
I don't understand how such a great franchise can be ruined by one film, and I saw The Matrix Revolutions AND Batman & Robin! I did'nt think a franchise can turn as badly as those films, but this is just bizarre. It's bizarre just how terrible this it considering the talent behind it....starring Sigourney Weaver....directed by the same guy who made Amelie....written by Joss Whedon? How can they make this THIS bad?
Well, the same problem that the last film suffered from relies in this film...no likable characters. Only in Alien 3, at least Sigourney Weaver as Ripley was still likable even if she was the only character to root for. Thing is, Ripley died in the last film and here, Weaver plays a clone as Ripley and as a clone, I have no reason to root for her. It does'nt help that the clone annoyed me with how bad she wanted to show off her skills and the dumb decisions she makes. Plus, the acting is much worse. Weaver tries too hard to chew scenery. Winona Ryder is really miscast. As awesome as Ron Perlman is, he does'nt do much for me here. I usually like Brad Dourif, but here it really shows had bizarrely bad of an actor he is here. The script is full of plot contriviances, shit that makes absolutely no sense, annoying characters, and shit that drives this film into the ground. I guess Whedon was in his rookie days and did'nt perfect his writing prowess until writing for Buffy, but that fact that this turd came from him, even as a rookie, is just bizarre and blows my mind. The suspense isn't there and you can see shit coming miles away. Stuff that you can't see coming either make no sense or are just too stupid to predict. The special effects look so cheesy. The twists are stupid. It's just terribly bad and bizarre.
I've said bizarre a lot in this review, but it's just that...bizarre. It confuses me how a franchise with so much potential could end in such an awful way. Hopefully Prometheus isn't as disappointing.