RSS feed for Silent J
  • Blow Job

    Blow Job 1963

    ★★ Watched 24 Aug, 2015 2

    It's impossible to make a blowjob interesting to watch.

    Vincent Gallo couldn't make one interesting. Sasha Grey couldn't do it. Not even Andy Warhol could do it.

    How does one review a blowjob when one does not see the blowjob itself? Exactly how you review a blowjob that you do see--you don't. There's only so much you can say about a film entirely dedicated to a man's face while receiving a blowjob and the brief aftermath of it. So I'm…

  • Norbit

    Norbit 2007

    Rewatched 22 Aug, 2015

    It's days like this where I wonder what really makes a bad movie.

    Yes, I watched Norbit despite it's ugly reputation. Yes, this is the second time I've seen it. First time I've seen it since it came out. I just came across this flipping through channels and a thought occurred to me: What was really so bad about Norbit? It wasn't that I remembered something fondly about this film (that certainly wasn't the case) nor did I find any…

  • Ticks

    Ticks 1993

    ★★★½ Watched 22 Aug, 2015

    There is nothing funnier than seeing Carlton Banks from Fresh Prince of Bel-Air try to act like a tough gangster from the hood in the woods.

    Anyway, this was the first time in a long time I watched a movie with my dad and I'm glad I did. Not just because, you know, father-son bonding, but because I never would have heard of this underrated, surprising flick with amazing practical effects if my dad didn't put it on. Thanks, dad.

  • Playtime

    Playtime 1967

    ★★★½ Watched 21 Aug, 2015

    Sometimes, all you need to make life funny is to imitate it through art.

    Visual comedy is a difficult art to pull off successfully. It's easy to get someone to laugh at a joke with the right delivery. Physical comedy is a little harder, but not impossible to manage. Visual comedy, trying to look funny without looking like you're trying to look funny, without the use of easy comical gags, isn't an easy feat. It takes a special skillset to…

  • Touchy Feely

    Touchy Feely 2013

    Watched 18 Aug, 2015 8

    I can't remember the last time I really felt bad for not liking a movie, but this is one of those times.

    A little while back, I listened to Marc Maron's podcast and discovered director Lynn Shelton. Never heard of her prior, but she just came off as the nicest individual. Really sweet, really humble individual. Loved the interview and the way her and Maron talked about her movies had me curious. So I marked Touchy Feely as the first…

  • The Red Balloon

    The Red Balloon 1956

    ★★★★★ Watched 17 Aug, 2015 4

    Who knew that a balloon could show more charm and personality than half of the actors in Hollywood?

  • GLOW: The Story of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling

    GLOW: The Story of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling 2012

    ★★★½ Watched 17 Aug, 2015

    You're know what's fake?

    Wrestling.

    You know what's real?

    Matilda the Hun wrestling a bear.

    Whenever somebody asks me why I love a "fake sport" like wrestling so much, my new answer is going to be because it's the only event where not only people will gather around to see a woman wrestle a 700lb 7ft tall grizzly bear, but if it happened today, the woman would be booked to beat the bear and no one would question its plausibility.

    God, I love wrestling. It's amazing.

  • Rollerball

    Rollerball 2002

    Watched 16 Aug, 2015 5

    Ok, I'd be lying if I didn't say that the only reason I checked this out was because I looked up from my laptop at my tv and saw Paul Heyman commentating the action.

    What can I say? I'm a Paul Heyman Guy.

  • Whiteboyz

    Whiteboyz 1999

    ★★★ Rewatched 15 Aug, 2015

    This is what happens when keeping it real goes wrong...

    Or in this case, it's the opposite. The fact that Flip never kept it "real" was the problem to begin with. For a simple country boy from Iowa, Flip was oblivious to the world around him. A father that's been laid off, a crazy best friend, a pregnant girlfriend, a mother on food stamps...these are all very real issues that Flip refuses to pay attention to or deal with like…

  • Annie

    Annie 2014

    Watched 15 Aug, 2015 2

    Black...white...Annie is garbage no matter what color you paint her.

  • The Fantastic Four

    The Fantastic Four 1994

    ★★★ Watched 15 Aug, 2015 15

    The only Fantastic Four that matters to me.

    The closest to "fantastic" a Fantastic Four movie will ever get.

    I haven't seen the new Fantastic Four, but considering this has a 33% on Rotten Tomatoes while the new movie has an embarrassing 8%, I think it's safe to say this is without a doubt the best Fantastic Four movie ever made.

  • A Dash Through the Clouds