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  • Bad Johnson 2014

    Watched 05 Jul, 2014 1

    Don't be a dick unless you wanna lose your dick.

  • Get Christie Love! 1974

    ★★ Watched 28 Jun, 2014 1

    Mr. Orange probably said best in Reservoir Dogs, but this is basically a Pam Grier tv show without Pam Grier. Doesn't help that it's pretty bland and average tv at that.

  • Looking for Lenny 2011

    ★★★½ Watched 28 Jun, 2014

    If comedian Lenny Bruce never graced the stage back in the 60's, some of your favorite comedians (George Carlin, Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor, Chris Rock, etc) would not be able to do half their shtick. In fact, half of comedians today would still be reduced to the casual "Take my wife!" and "BAH DUM TSH!" punchline shtick if it wasn't for Lenny Bruce.

    If you're wondering just how this is possible, watch this doc. Or better yet, watch the movie starring Dustin Hoffman.

  • Amber Alert 2012

    ★½ Watched 28 Jun, 2014

    I'm pretty sure this whole movie would have been better if it was watched on mute so no one has to hear the most annoying cast of characters to grace a screen, but I'll still be seeing them make stupid decisions.

    So, in hindsight, this is probably better with the screen turned off.

  • Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & Punisher 2014

    ★★½ Watched 16 Mar, 2014 2

    Two of the most badass, underrated, and underutilized (at least in the Marvel Movie Universe) Marvel characters starring in their own Marvel animated movie? An anime animation movie I might add? What could possibly go wrong?

    Well, a lot when the studio doesn't have enough faith in their star characters and feel the need to shoehorn other Avengers into the movie to sell it.

    A lot when the script is handled poorly and isn't interesting to begin with.

    A lot…

  • Need for Speed 2014

    ★★ Watched 16 Mar, 2014

    Need For Speed: Endangering Civilians; One Turn At A Time

    Oh, Need for Speed, you try so hard to be Fast and Furious, but Fast and Furious you are not. Not only in terms of being like the films, but in terms of being an intense thrill ride.

    You're nothing but a bunch of assholes driving reckless and killing dozens of civilians for a joyride.

  • Disconnect 2012

    ★★★½ Watched 14 Mar, 2014

    Going into this, I was a little worried. Going into anything that's been (unfairly) labeled as "Crash with computers" wouldn't you be too? But it has Michael Bluth, Hope Davis, Alexander Skarsgard, and Paula Patton's sexy ass so I said, "Why the hell not?"

    This is definitely a lot more than Crash with computers. Granted, if you're going to compare it to Crash, Disconnect will easily exceed expectations but at the same time, by comparing it to Crash, you're going…

  • Reservoir Dogs 1992

    ★★★★★ Rewatched 11 Mar, 2014

    First movie I saw on Robert Rodriguez's new TV network, El Rey.

    Between this, the Grindhouse movies, reruns of X-Files, and the reboot tv show of From Dusk Til Dawn (which is REALLY fucking good), it all makes up probably the best tv channel ever so far.

  • 300: Rise of an Empire 2014

    ★★★ Watched 09 Mar, 2014

    Picking up right where the first one left off, gone is the homo-erotic subtext (to some extent) and amplified is the nonsensicalness of the screenplay. It's bigger in scale and in stakes compared to the first one and as with many sequels, that means its a lot dumber too. One would think a film of such nature should receive a lower score than this, right?

    Lemme explain you a thing...

    Now, if you go into this without having seen 300,…

  • 300 2006

    ★★★ Rewatched 08 Mar, 2014

    So homoerotic that you'll walk out of it with a pair of hard abs and a hard on.

    Neither of which is a bad thing.

  • The Self Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior 2005

    ★★★½ Watched 06 Mar, 2014 1

    Whether you love it or think it's stupid, you gotta admit wrestling is some of the most fascinating shit when you think about it. Specifically from a business perspective.

    Yeah, the idea of two guys oiled down from head to toe wearing tights pretending to hit each other for 20 minutes sounds incredibly silly, but behind the scenes is where the real interest for the business kicks in. At least for me. That's where the best stories worth telling come…

  • Angels in America 2003

    ★★★★★ Rewatched 04 Mar, 2014 4

    This epic film features Emma Thompson as an angel of the lord saying "The stiffening of your penis is of no consequence." and coining the phrase "Orgasma asmada." in the same scene.

    Therefore, this is the greatest thing ever. Your argument is invalid.