RSS feed for Silent J
  • Avengers Confidential: Black Widow & Punisher 2014

    ★★½ Watched 16 Mar, 2014 2

    Two of the most badass, underrated, and underutilized (at least in the Marvel Movie Universe) Marvel characters starring in their own Marvel animated movie? An anime animation movie I might add? What could possibly go wrong?

    Well, a lot when the studio doesn't have enough faith in their star characters and feel the need to shoehorn other Avengers into the movie to sell it.

    A lot when the script is handled poorly and isn't interesting to begin with.

    A lot…

  • Need for Speed 2014

    ★★ Watched 16 Mar, 2014

    Need For Speed: Endangering Civilians; One Turn At A Time

    Oh, Need for Speed, you try so hard to be Fast and Furious, but Fast and Furious you are not. Not only in terms of being like the films, but in terms of being an intense thrill ride.

    You're nothing but a bunch of assholes driving reckless and killing dozens of civilians for a joyride.

  • Disconnect 2012

    ★★★½ Watched 14 Mar, 2014

    Going into this, I was a little worried. Going into anything that's been (unfairly) labeled as "Crash with computers" wouldn't you be too? But it has Michael Bluth, Hope Davis, Alexander Skarsgard, and Paula Patton's sexy ass so I said, "Why the hell not?"

    This is definitely a lot more than Crash with computers. Granted, if you're going to compare it to Crash, Disconnect will easily exceed expectations but at the same time, by comparing it to Crash, you're going…

  • Reservoir Dogs 1992

    ★★★★★ Rewatched 11 Mar, 2014

    First movie I saw on Robert Rodriguez's new TV network, El Rey.

    Between this, the Grindhouse movies, reruns of X-Files, and the reboot tv show of From Dusk Til Dawn (which is REALLY fucking good), it all makes up probably the best tv channel ever so far.

  • 300: Rise of an Empire 2014

    ★★★ Watched 09 Mar, 2014

    Picking up right where the first one left off, gone is the homo-erotic subtext (to some extent) and amplified is the nonsensicalness of the screenplay. It's bigger in scale and in stakes compared to the first one and as with many sequels, that means its a lot dumber too. One would think a film of such nature should receive a lower score than this, right?

    Lemme explain you a thing...

    Now, if you go into this without having seen 300,…

  • 300 2006

    ★★★ Rewatched 08 Mar, 2014

    So homoerotic that you'll walk out of it with a pair of hard abs and a hard on.

    Neither of which is a bad thing.

  • The Self Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior 2005

    ★★★½ Watched 06 Mar, 2014 1

    Whether you love it or think it's stupid, you gotta admit wrestling is some of the most fascinating shit when you think about it. Specifically from a business perspective.

    Yeah, the idea of two guys oiled down from head to toe wearing tights pretending to hit each other for 20 minutes sounds incredibly silly, but behind the scenes is where the real interest for the business kicks in. At least for me. That's where the best stories worth telling come…

  • Angels in America 2003

    ★★★★★ Rewatched 04 Mar, 2014 4

    This epic film features Emma Thompson as an angel of the lord saying "The stiffening of your penis is of no consequence." and coining the phrase "Orgasma asmada." in the same scene.

    Therefore, this is the greatest thing ever. Your argument is invalid.

  • Non-Stop 2014

    ★★★ Watched 03 Mar, 2014 5

    Well, it stopped.
    It's not quite Taken 3, but it could've been worse.

    I think the big problem with this film (aside from some plot contrivances or just silly things you'd expect from a Neeson movie) is that while at some points the suspense works, it's not amplified like it should have. Like I never feel like the stakes are high. If a guy says he's going to kill someone on the plane every 20 minutes, Neeson should've been in…

  • Angels in America 2003

    ★★★★★ Watched 01 Mar, 2014

    Wow. Just wow. My God. I think I've found my new favorite film.

    Now, I don't know about you, but when I go into any film that was originally titled "A Gay Fantasia on National Themes" when it was on stage, expectations are usually pretty high. Saying they were exceeded would be an understatement. This was broadcasted on television screens about 10 years ago. The play came out about 20 years ago. The fact that the story and its themes…

  • Philomena 2013

    ★½ Watched 28 Feb, 2014

    As of now, I have seen every film nominated for Best Picture this year.
    I guess I chose the worst for last.

    For what reason was this film was nominated? Is it because it shits on members of the Catholic Church? Is it because Judi Dench’s performance was so good they just HAD to nominate the whole film? Is it because it’s your usual run of the mill sappy crowd pandering flick Oscars jizz over? Is there any reason, for…

  • Captain Phillips 2013

    ★★★★½ Watched 28 Feb, 2014 5

    The extra half star is for those intense last five minutes. The rest of the film is incredible in it's own right, but those last five minutes man...fuck.

    What can be said about this film that hasn't been said already? Tom Hanks proves that after all these years, he's still got it and gives what I'd argue to be the best performance of his career. Barkhad Abdi, in his film debut, is a powerhouse villain who you even find yourself…