RSS feed for Silent J
  • The To Do List 2013

    ★½ Watched 21 Feb, 2014 9

    This is one film I didn't need to check off my to do list.

    You're better off watching Backdoor Sluts 9. Or Beaches. Whichever strikes your fancy.

  • Adult World 2013

    ★★ Watched 16 Feb, 2014 4

    "Love. Love until you hate. But learn to hate your love and then forgive your hate for loving it."

    When we're young, most of us are excited about entering adulthood. Exploring a new world from a new perspective with new possibilities. When we finally do enter it, we're quick to find out that it isn't all that it's cracked out to be nor what we expect it to be. It seems director Scott Cofey is trying to put emphasis on…

  • Unbreakable 2000

    ★★★★★ Watched 13 Feb, 2014

    Sequel to Die Hard 3 in which Zeus works another case with John McClane but ends up crippling himself in the process. To leave the past behind him, John stops being a cop, remarries with someone else, and takes a job as a security guard. But Zeus cannot forget the past so easily. Bitter that kids make fun of him and call him Mr. Glass, Zeus seeks revenge on McClane by trying to break him in the most physical and mental way possible, but how can he break someone who is...


    Coming to a theatre near you (14 years ago)

  • The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters 2007

    ★★★★★ Watched 13 Feb, 2014 6

    Fuck Billy Mitchell.
    Fuck his tie.
    Fuck his American tie.
    Fuck his tie with the shitty looking trees.
    Fuck his Miami Vice haircut.
    Fuck his shoes.
    Fuck his videotapes.
    Fuck his shit eating grin.
    Fuck his smooth ass beard.
    Fuck Billy Mitchell.

    Fuck that motherfucker.

  • The LEGO Movie 2014

    ★★★★★ Watched 11 Feb, 2014 5

    I was hoping this movie would at least be better than stepping on a Lego.

    Turns out it's better than building Legos when I was a kid.

  • Nebraska 2013

    ★★★★½ Watched 09 Feb, 2014

    With another Best Picture nominee that I've never heard of, I had really low expectations. I didn't even know what this is about. Surprisingly, it ended up being a brilliant character study unlike any kind I've seen in the sub-genre.

    It stars Bruce Dern as a senile old man who thinks he's won a million dollars thanks to a scam letter he received in the mail. Frustrated by his father's insistence to receive his winnings in Nebraska, his son, played…

  • 42 2013

    ★★★½ Watched 08 Feb, 2014 14

    I never thought any movie could make me hate Alan Tudyk as much as I love him as an actor.

    Seeing as I don't like baseball, I never thought I'd like a baseball movie.

    If only it wasn't sappier and cornier and clichéd as a wannabe uplifting Spielberg film.

  • Blue Jasmine 2013

    ★★ Watched 08 Feb, 2014 10

    Oh how the mighty have fallen.

    It was already evident in the 90's that Woody Allen's abilities as both a writer and a director have been declining steadily. Then, he married his adopted daughter. Then there were allegations of him molesting his biological daughter. Film wise, there was a shred of hope once Midnight in Paris came out. Then he made Blue Jasmine. It seems as though Woody Allen has taken a turn for the worse both behind the camera…

  • Before Midnight 2013

    ★★★ Watched 06 Feb, 2014 10

    This film is a lot like Jesse’s third book...ambitious and too long.

    The only difference is unlike Jesse’s book, this is not the best in the series. This is the most disappointing.

    What made Before Sunrise so great is that it was just two strangers spending a day together in hopes of finding some kind of chemistry. What made Before Sunset even better was the fact we saw those same characters who have established separate lives 9 years later and…

  • Food, Inc. 2008

    ★★★★ Watched 05 Feb, 2014

    The worst thing I could have done before eating this was eat a beef Slim Jim.

    I'm never eating beef again.

    *watch me eat another beef slim jim next week when I forget all about this...*

  • Summer of Sam 1999

    ★★½ Watched 01 Feb, 2014

    The sheer highlight of this movie is watching a talking dog tell the serial killer to "Kill. Kill! KILL!"

    Who knew Spike Lee could make comedy gold?

  • The Fifth Estate 2013

    Watched 31 Jan, 2014 4

    This film is the prime example of why I keep saying 2013 was a mediocre year for film.

    Sure, we had a lot of masterpieces come out in the last 2 months (as usual with Oscar season) but does it make up for the 10 months of mediocrity-crap we put up with? Yeah, there were some gems sprinkled every now and again but for the most part, 2013 consisted of movies that either were completely shite or films that showed…