RSS feed for Silent J
  • Life Itself 2014

    ★★★★ Watched 04 Jan, 2015 3

    I think it's easy to say that Roger Ebert was very much a pioneer when it came to reviewing movies. For years, he was the deciding factor for many on what films to watch. Before people would watch a film, people would ask "What did Siskel think?" or "What did Ebert think?" or "What did Siskel & Ebert think of it?" The man was a genius when it came to film and you get to learn a lot about that genius…

  • Nuts in May 1976

    ★★★ Watched 04 Jan, 2015 2

    As I've noted on this site time and time again, I'm a big fan of Mike Leigh. I've only seen three of his films previously (Naked, Career Girls, Happy-Go-Lucky), but I find all of those films to be excellent pieces of work. One of his earliest pieces of work is this film: Nuts in May. It's about two hippies who just want peace and quiet when they go camping and they find everything but peace and quiet. Sounds like the…

  • Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! 1965

    ★★★ Watched 03 Jan, 2015 2

    For my first film of 2015, I decided to watch this exploitative garbage.

    The acting is garbage. The action is garbage. The script is garbage. The softcore pornographic dialogue is garbage. The titties are...well, the titties are nice, but I'm not a pubescent teenage boy. That kind of shit doesn't sway my opinion as easily as it used to so by default, the tits are garbage. This whole film is garbage and so is everything in it.

    I loved it.

  • X-Men: Days of Future Past 2014

    ★★★★ Added

    Sometime before the events of this film...

    Magneto: "Charles, this is an awfully dangerous mission. We need someone to go back into the past. You're the smartest...even the most powerful...person out of all of us on the team. Therefore, you're the most qualified to go back in-"

    Professor X: "Nah. Send Wolverine."

    Magneto: "Wha...what? The biggest hotheaded brute to come out of the X-Men? Why him? All things considered, he's extremely underqualified.

    Professor X: "Because First Class was the lowest…

  • Captain America: The Winter Soldier 2014

    ★★★★★ Added

    This movie is full of lies. Lies and bullshit.

    This movie clearly takes place in the Summer (maybe Spring). Therefore, *insert spoiler that everybody knows here* would be the Summer Soldier. Not the Winter Soldier. Duh.

    Either Marvel's lying or they're bullshitting.

  • Nas: Time Is Illmatic 2014

    ★★★½ Added

    Nas has got BARS. All types of bars. You name 'em.

    Rap bars. Chocolate bars. Vanilla bars. Hershey's bars. Mars Bars. Kit Kat bars. Bruiser Bars. Nogger Bars (I said NOGGER with an O so don't you start).

    If you like any of those bars, then you will like this documentary chronicling Nas' first album; Illmatic.

  • John Wick 2014

    ★★★★½ Added

    Keanu Reeves deserves a big apology from all of you who doubted that THE GREAT Keanu Reeves had another one like this in him.

    It's ok, Keanu. *strokes his hair* I never doubted you. I always believe in you...

    No I didn't, but you and your movie were a lot more awesome than you had any business being. Better than you've been in years. Love ya. *kiss*

    That was for the movie. Not you, Keanu.

  • No Good Deed 2014

    ★★ Added

    No good movie.

  • 22 Jump Street 2014

    ★★★ Added

    At this point, the Jump Street movies are just a way to try and get Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill to kiss/fuck. If you're into seeing that, you're in luck because you get pretty close to seeing it here. Sexual tension you can cut with a butter knife.

    Bet money that 23 Jump Street will be a loose remake of Cruising.

  • Edge of Tomorrow 2014

    ★★★★½ Added

    You know what's funnier than watching Tom Cruise run?

    Watching Tom Cruise run in a giant robot suit.

  • About Last Night 2014

    ★★ Added

    Like most one night stands, I just want to pretend this didn't happen.

  • Sharknado 2: The Second One 2014

    ½ Added

    What made the first film fun was that it was so bad and ridiculous that it was good and loads of fun.

    When you actually intentionally try to make a film bad the second go round, it stops being fun.

    You tried too hard, Syfy. Don't quit your day jobs, but stop trying to do your jobs well. Or poorly enough until it's considered a good job.