RSS feed for Silent J
  • The Fantastic Four

    The Fantastic Four 1994

    ★★★ Watched 15 Aug, 2015 15

    The only Fantastic Four that matters to me.

    The closest to "fantastic" a Fantastic Four movie will ever get.

    I haven't seen the new Fantastic Four, but considering this has a 33% on Rotten Tomatoes while the new movie has an embarrassing 8%, I think it's safe to say this is without a doubt the best Fantastic Four movie ever made.

  • A Dash Through the Clouds
  • Sacrosanct

    Sacrosanct 2015

    ★★★★ Watched 13 Aug, 2015 4

    Ok, two reasons why this 2 minute short is so high in my book:

    1. For a 2 minute short, this managed to build up tension and atmosphere with powerful imagery much better than most feature films out there.

    2. This was filmed in my hometown so I'm completely biased. Sue me.

  • Unfriended

    Unfriended 2014

    ★★★½ Watched 12 Aug, 2015

    Either I'm really sleep depraved or this was much better than I thought it would be.

    Considering that I haven't been able to sleep at all and I'm just barely tired, I think it's the latter.

    Honestly, with such an interesting gimmick as a horror story told entirely (well...almost entirely) on a teenage girl's laptop, I was sure the filmmakers would fuck it up. It's not that I didn't think the concept would work. In fact, I've seen it work…

  • Fist of Jesus

    Fist of Jesus 2012

    ★★★★½ Watched 12 Aug, 2015

    So because I can't sleep, I ended up watching this 12 minute short about Jesus kicking ass for The Lord.

    Considering how hammy this is, I'd call this the perfect midnight snack.

    *Cue comedic drumroll, please*

  • Trash Humpers

    Trash Humpers 2009

    Watched 11 Aug, 2015

    "Get it! Get that trash pussy!"

    "Soak that throat! And I wanna see you swallow, bitch!"

    I think these quotes speak for themselves as to why I don't know what to make of this film.

    I don't know how to rate it. I don't know if I liked it. I don't know if I hated it. I don't know if it works. I don't know if there was a point to it. I don't know what "it" was that I just watched. I don't know if it's just...trash.

    Just...what the fuck...

  • Do the Right Thing

    Do the Right Thing 1989

    ★★★★★ Rewatched 11 Aug, 2015 4

    *Rewatched with commentary by Spike Lee*

    I went to Wal-Mart yesterday with some friends and after spending like an hour in all three cheap dvd bins scraping to the bottom of the barrel looking like a couple of stoners with chip bags in our hands, I ended up picking up 2 DVDs: Cabin in the Woods and Do The Right Thing. I was especially excited about revisiting Do The Right Thing because I happened to pick up the 20th Anniversary…

  • Da Sweet Blood of Jesus

    Da Sweet Blood of Jesus 2014

    ★★★ Watched 09 Aug, 2015

    Imagine if The Great Gatsby was black. And kind of a vampire.

    What you just imagined, my friend, is Da Sweet Blood of Jesus.

    Dr. Hess Greene (Stephen Tyrone Williams), a wealthy art collector, comes into the possession of an ancient dagger. Quickly afterwards, through a series of strange events, Hess learns that he's essentially become a vampire and he's impervious to physical harm. He cannot die as long as he continues to drink the blood of fresh victims. Definitely…

  • The Drop

    The Drop 2014

    ★★★★ Watched 08 Aug, 2015 6

    The Drop wants to be Mean Streets so badly.

    Maybe it's because I rewatched Mean Streets so recently, but I saw some striking similarities between the two films. A protagonist who regularly attends his Catholic church when he isn't working at a bar or working with mobsters. That alone reminded me of Mean Streets; among other things. Even the poster with a gun facing upwards, which is very identical to the iconic Mean Streets poster. In fact, I'd go one…

  • Inherent Vice

    Inherent Vice 2014

    ★★★★ Watched 07 Aug, 2015 2

    Well, I didn't get the PTA movie that I expected, but I got the PTA movie that I deserved.

    Paul Thomas Anderson is my favorite director and in my honest opinion, the best director working in Hollywood today. His movies have always had that explosive quality to them--like a quiet storm that builds to a chaotic hurricane--that I've been drawn to that no other filmmaker has been able to match in my book. That being said, as excited as I…

  • Mean Streets

    Mean Streets 1973

    ★★★★★ Rewatched 07 Aug, 2015

    Watched this with a friend who made me watch a lot of shit movies over the past year. Figured it was about time I made him watch a great one for once.

  • The Nest