L is for Lady, Stay Dead
This is a pretty tight, well-made movie, but at the same time I didn't really connect with it. It starts out really strong, with the stalker gardener's striking introduction co-starring his mannequin sex doll. I'm no expert on sex dolls of the early '80s, but the fact that it was a dressed, mannequin-style doll and not a blowup doll, made me think that he was pretty serious and experienced with…
K is for Killer Workout
Man, and I thought last week's Jaws of Satan was bad! Killer Workout is pretty piss poor, and I love the '80s and its neon leotard aerobic obsession.
Whenever I see a fun '80s montage set to a dope pop song, I think, "Movies should have more stuff like this." Killer Workout grants that wish, but in getting what I wanted I realized it was the wish of a fool. At…
E is for Evilspeak
Evilspeak dares to ask the big questions we'd all like the answers to. Y'know, stuff like "How do you confront a bully?" "Is there a good excuse for being late to class?" and "What are the keys to the kingdom of Satan's magic?"
This movie is super fun, a totally '80s romp about Satan, soccer, and a computer ready and willing to help our hero perform a black mass. How can I…