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  • Cartel

    Cartel 1990

    ★★½ Watched 21 May, 2015

    Neither as brutal nor as explosive as that box art would make you believe, Cartel features a coked out Don Stroud who is super coke-pissed at innocent pilot Miles O'Keeffe, thinking he stole his coke. Sadly the movie is front-loaded with action and nothing in the film is as awesome as the first 15 minutes. Also, there's a kickboxing robot that hangs out in the background in one scene. I require fan fiction detailing the backstory of that robot.

  • Mad Max: Fury Road

    Mad Max: Fury Road 2015

    ★★★★★ Watched 14 May, 2015

    Mad Max, you guys. Mad. Fucking. Max.

    Hollywood has always argued that non-stop action in a movie is too exhausting and therefore movies need pesky things like "dialogue" and "drama". Screw that noise. MAD MAX: FURY ROAD is essentially wall to wall action sequences. There are a few quiet moments, sure. I mean, one or two, maybe. But for two hours, the action never wears out its welcome.

    Everything bit of stuntwork is remarkably well-conceived. So much thought is put…

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  • Foodfight!

    Foodfight! 2012

    ½ Watched 15 May, 2013

    The movie that's running on the monitors in the waiting rooms for Hell.

  • Batman Returns

    Batman Returns 1992

    ★★★★½ Rewatched 22 Jul, 2012 2

    Superior in every conceivable way to the first Michael Keaton BATMAN, and anyone who doesn't think so is out of their goddamned mind. Not only is Keaton perfect again, but so are Danny DeVito, Michelle Pfeiffer and Christopher Walken. The scene where Bruce Wayne and Selena Kyle discover each other's alter egos still gives me a rush, and I can't tell you how many times I say "You've got kind of a dark side, don't ya?" to other people. Great dynamics and themes going on all over the place in this one.