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  • The Cobbler

    The Cobbler 2014

    ★★ Watched 10 Aug, 2016

    i mean it's not a good movie but I didn't want to stab babies or anything

  • 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi

    13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi 2016

    ★★★½ Watched 20 Jun, 2016

    The fact that Bay delivered something decent is fairly shocking. Probably bears almost zero resemblance to reality, and has all the nuance of a bowling ball in the temple, but its a good HORDE MODE thriller (see proto-Isis zombies lay siege to CIA HQ!)

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  • Transsiberian

    Transsiberian 2008

    ★★★½ Rewatched 15 Jun, 2012 3

    Starts off like a modern-day "The Lady Vanishes" and then bounces jerkily around before ending up as a somewhat standard thriller that teeters on the brink of Generic Action Movie at the end but pulls back. The whole thing is rather sloppy and relies on a combination of extreme contrivance (oh no drugs are falling out of my backpack! please don't look at the next picture on my camera!) and bafflingly stupid actions from Emily Mortimer (going off into the…

  • Project X

    Project X 2012

    ½ Watched 07 Jul, 2012 2

    This will make you hate:
    (a) yourself for watching it
    (b) every entitled asshole character and America in general
    (c) the world for letting it exist; the state of humanity
    (d) ALL OF THE ABOVE

    If you like this movie--even "ironically"--you need to be fucking destroyed.