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  • The Girl on the Train

    The Girl on the Train

    ★★½

    it would take a lot for me to break up with emily blunt but a golf club arcing at my forehead might do it.

    Moral of the story is that alcohol makes you "right about everything"; great double bill w/KRISHA

    so glad I didn't use an Audible credit on the book first

  • Love

    Love

    ★★½

    honestly you can add erik satie to any porn and it will make that shit profound

    noe needs to start learning which direction time runs in

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  • Transsiberian

    Transsiberian

    ★★★½

    Starts off like a modern-day "The Lady Vanishes" and then bounces jerkily around before ending up as a somewhat standard thriller that teeters on the brink of Generic Action Movie at the end but pulls back. The whole thing is rather sloppy and relies on a combination of extreme contrivance (oh no drugs are falling out of my backpack! please don't look at the next picture on my camera!) and bafflingly stupid actions from Emily Mortimer (going off into the…

  • Project X

    Project X

    ½

    This will make you hate:
    (a) yourself for watching it
    (b) every entitled asshole character and America in general
    (c) the world for letting it exist; the state of humanity
    (d) ALL OF THE ABOVE

    If you like this movie--even "ironically"--you need to be fucking destroyed.