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  • The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence)

    The Human Centipede 3 (Final Sequence) 2015

    ½ Watched 18 Sep, 2016

    i blame myself

  • Warcraft

    Warcraft 2016

    ★★ Watched 24 Sep, 2016

    if these were cutscenes in a 1998 video game i would be creaming my high school pants but sitting here as a thirysomething sipping scotch its difficult to overcome the d listers shooting cgi bolts whilst emoting around dimestore vampire teeth

Popular reviews

  • Transsiberian

    Transsiberian 2008

    ★★★½ Rewatched 15 Jun, 2012 3

    Starts off like a modern-day "The Lady Vanishes" and then bounces jerkily around before ending up as a somewhat standard thriller that teeters on the brink of Generic Action Movie at the end but pulls back. The whole thing is rather sloppy and relies on a combination of extreme contrivance (oh no drugs are falling out of my backpack! please don't look at the next picture on my camera!) and bafflingly stupid actions from Emily Mortimer (going off into the…

  • Project X

    Project X 2012

    ½ Watched 07 Jul, 2012 2

    This will make you hate:
    (a) yourself for watching it
    (b) every entitled asshole character and America in general
    (c) the world for letting it exist; the state of humanity

    If you like this movie--even "ironically"--you need to be fucking destroyed.