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  • God Help the Girl 2014

    ★★½ Watched 05 Mar, 2015

    I think my Belle & Sebastian-loving days are over.

    While the songs are enjoyable, the film lacks any resemblance of a script, is overlong (2 hours?!), does not feature enough of Josie Long, and is more about pouting girls than anything else. Olly Alexander is endearing, but as he can't pout, he's never given centre stage.

    The mental hospital scenes are too much of a mid-2000s, 'Skins'-y, teenaged girl's fantasy - it's no coincidence Hannah Murray stars as a character called…

  • The Poison Tree 2012

    ★½ Watched 05 Mar, 2015

    With twists and turns obvious from about a mile off, this is hilariously/depressingly bad. There are better ways of building suspense than having a phone ring in the middle of the night about twelve times in the first 45 minutes. Matthew Goode looks stupidly handsome as always, it's the only decent thing about this.

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  • War Horse 2011

    ★★ Watched 14 Feb, 2014 35

    What a shitfest. I would probably have liked this film better if it had been about a cat. Or, hell, even about that goose that walks around on the farm at the beginning of this film. That was a great goose.

    For a film called 'War Horse', it takes a long time for the 'war'-element to enter, so for the first 50 minutes, it's mainly 'horse' - and I happened to skip the horse part in my coming of age.…

  • Fifty Shades of Grey 2015

    ★★★ Watched 13 Feb, 2015 12

    Do you judge the film, or the book? I tried to judge the film on its own merit, but kind of failed. I suppose the good news is, the film in better than the book.

    I'm not going to lie, I looked forward to seeing this - how often do you see a book by a woman about a woman, adapted for the screen by a woman, and then directed by a woman. When the director is Sam Taylor-Johnson, I'm…