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  • Speed Racer 2008

    ★★½ Watched 07 Jun, 2013

    F-Zero doesn't have a plot and neither should this, the entire first half was awful. The Wachoskies obviously knew how bad the script was because they had to keep showing a monkey whenever there was too much talking. It made the conversations feel even more dragged out by cutting to a monkey making a face.

    The film became enjoyable once the racing started. If you enjoy the parts in video games when there's a CG cutscene and cool stuff happens while the main theme starts playing, you'll probably enjoy this. Don't expect it to change your life though, the Internet has lied to you about that.

  • High Fidelity 2000

    ★★★ Watched 05 Jun, 2013 1

    This isn't a review, I just want somewhere to complain about never having had a girlfriend. I feel like it's causing me to miss out on content and subtle things that'll make films like this much more emotional.

    I want to find a girlfriend and then break up, just so I can finally relate to 80% of music.

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  • Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat 1895

    ★★★★★ Watched 11 Nov, 2012

    The train represents the arrival of art to my mind.

  • Ace Attorney 2012

    ★★★½ Watched 09 May, 2013

    I love the fact that this exists and it isn't terrible, that's all it needed to be and the fans would have enjoyed it, due to how low the standard is for video game movies. But it's actually a good film.

    A group of people went into work and styled a guys impossible hair to look like a character from a GBA/DS game not many people have played, it's so ridiculous and they knew it. The film was riding on…