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  • X-Men: Apocalypse

    X-Men: Apocalypse 2016

    ★★½ Watched 20 Sep, 2016

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  • 31

    31 2016

    ★★★ Watched 16 Sep, 2016

    I have a love/hate relationship with Rob Zombie. He's like Woody Allen. A one trick pony that happens to be good at what he does, albeit, not a complete creep. This may be his best.

    Spanish speaking nazi-clown dwarf 
    Shari Moon's body
    Grease paint
    Fuck
    Chainsaws
    Mutilation
    Cannibalism
    Creepy-ass warehouse
    More fucks
    More grease paint
    Psychopathic monologues
    Knives, nails, knives, bats with nails, knives
    Desert
    Shari Moon's body covered in blood
    Random nudity
    Everything is a clown
    Did I mention…

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  • Under the Skin

    Under the Skin 2013

    ★★★★½ Watched 01 Jul, 2014 2

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    I took a day to ruminate on this film.

    That was a good idea.

    Scarlett Johansson has slowly, but surely proven herself to be a very capable actress. Her sexiness in this film is not heavy handed in the least, which I half expected. However, her performance is chillingly real and seductive. The use of real people and hidden cameras brings this story much closer to reality.

    Long shots, extremely wide shots, and the grey Scotland countryside give a subtle…

  • Transformers: Age of Extinction

    Transformers: Age of Extinction 2014

    ★½ Watched 28 Jun, 2014

    I won't say that it was good, or even that entertaining. It's a total turd. But, it's the Bayiest Micheal Bay movie ever Bayed. Which means it's nothing but one-liners and explosions. It's a good turn your brain off film. Nothing more. No real cinematic story. Just lots of splosions.