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  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2014

    ½ Watched 17 Aug, 2014

    Aggressively terrible.

  • Transformers: Dark of the Moon 2011

    Watched 15 Aug, 2014

    I had a longer review written, but I gave it a look-over and decided that it was as incoherent as this train wreck of a film, so I have only kept the last line: I just.... I don't understand.

  • Getaway 2013

    ½ Watched 30 Aug, 2013

    How can a movie be this bad? Somehow, the director has made what is essentially an hour and 40 minute car chase tedious. I have never been so un-enthused to see explosions and cars flipping over. Might have something to do with the painful dialogue, a plot that manages to simultaneously not exist and insult the intelligence of the viewer, and for god's sake get Selena Gomez out of everything forever.