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  • Snowpiercer

    Snowpiercer 2013

    ★★½ Added

    Thomas the Tank Engine on speed, set on the island of Sodor (aka the world) covered in snow.

    Just like the actual Thomas the Tank Engine stories, this needed more engines to make it interesting. Percy, Toby and maybe James would have made it more enjoyable. Not Gordon though, because he's a prat.

  • Lucy

    Lucy 2014

    ★★★ Added

    Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

    And Morgan Freeman.

    The moral of this story kids, is stop taking drugs when you're able to kick ass just by looking at people, and if you can stop a dog by glancing at it over your sunglasses.

    Anything after that, you're really screwed.

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  • The Counselor

    The Counselor 2013

    ★★★½ Watched 10 May, 2014

    This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    If you know Cormac McCarthy's work you probably know what to expect, and don't need to read on.

    Ridley Scott directs. Excellent lineup of actors.

    Like a Cormac McCarthy novel, this movie frustrates, irritates, enlightens, resonates, horrifies, and ultimately lingers.

    Not a joyful experience by any means, and some of the monologues run up their own bums. The first 60 minutes verge on the turgid, and trying to figure out the motivations of the characters, and therefore a reason to…

  • Pain & Gain

    Pain & Gain 2013

    ★★½ Added

    It's Michael Bay, so it's OTT and a visual clusterfuck at times, but this is what Bay does, so don't watch it if you don't accept that. Dwayne Johnson and Mark Wahlberg suit the characters perfectly.

    Scariest part about this film is that's it's based on true events - which with a little reflection, makes it quite a sad film. Bay glosses up what were actual humans, committing actual crimes, in the pursuit of that actual American dream. And believing in themselves and their dream, because you know... America.