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  • Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?

    Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?

    ★★★★½

    you have just seen the handy dandy dandy electric shaver gently shave the fungus off an overripe peach. now watch the job it does for MY stubble!

  • Martin

    Martin

    ★★★★

    Following the death of his immediate family, Martin (John Amplas) has reluctantly been invited to live with his great uncle Cuda (Lincoln Maazel) and cousin Christine (Christine Forrest) in the decomposing suburbs of Pennsylvania. The titular introvert is beset by monochrome visions evoking vintage vampire pictures, during which he is overcome with a devouring thirst for the blood of young and beautiful women. These hallucinations are experienced by the viewer first-hand en route, as he functionally tranquillises a passenger in…

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  • Argo

    Argo

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    affleck has the gall to begin argo by drawing attention to the victimisation of the iranian people in the time preceding the iran hostage crisis--sporting a pile of bodies and multiple shots of starving and tortured iranians, no less-- only to segue into a rote (albeit effective) suspenseful patriotic crowdpleaser in the apollo 13 mould--one which insists americans deserve more credit for their ability to use lies to clean up their own messes. not a pinch of irony to be…

  • Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

    Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1

    ★★★★

    there's a moment midway through harry potter and the deathly hallows: part 1 (hereafter harry potter 7a) when harry and hermione return to the place of harry's birth, and in reply to hermione's suggestion that they should've come disguised, harry says "no. this is where i was born. i'm not returning as someone else". it's one of about a thousand statements in this series of films which rings completely hollow and yet has to be said anyway, if only to…