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  • The Seventh Sign

    The Seventh Sign 1988

    Rewatched 01 Apr, 2015

    This opens with Jurgen Prochnow wearing his most serious face, and Jurgen Prochnow's faces start at Super Mega Serious and just get more serious from there. So far as biblical end-of-the-world movies go, this makes The Omen look a little daffy.

    He breaks the seal on an ancient scroll, and a tide of dead fish wash up on shore. The seas have started to boil! (the fish are hot to the touch, but the water seems fine.) Cue the chanting…

  • Copycat

    Copycat 1995

    ★★★ Rewatched 31 Mar, 2015

    This is one of the better-remembered examples of the "psychological thrillers" (i.e. serial-killer police procedural horror movies, marketed to people who wouldn't go near a horror movie) that came out in the wake of Seven - which itself was sort of a Friday The 13th to The Silence Of The Lambs' Halloween.

    It doesn't do much to try to hide its killer, so it's up to the leads to build the mystery - PTSD'd-to-shit Sigourney Weaver, and pint-sized cop Holly…

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  • Time Bandits

    Time Bandits 1981

    ★★★★ Rewatched 29 Mar, 2015

    We went to see this on my 8th birthday - everybody liked it but, being 8, we didn't really have a grasp on how bugfuck bizarre it is. And in the coming years it would be one of those movies that was always on TV, and it became something of a family favourite. I never had any idea of just how weird this movie was until I was about 30. I also didn't understand at the time that it was…

  • The Lords of Salem

    The Lords of Salem 2012

    ★★★ Watched 06 Mar, 2015 2

    Can't say expectations were too high for this one, since it was greeted with a great collective shrug, I don't think ever managed to get a theatrical screening here, and that ugly, unexciting poster couldn't possibly have helped. Rob Zombie's film career has been uneven, but it has not been halfassed, and that shrug was about the worst kind of reaction one of his movies could get.

    So I don't know if he's the guy I want in charge of…