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  • Twilight Zone: The Movie 1983

    ★★½ Watched 22 Jul, 2014

    Anthology movie that updates three, arguably four original-series stories for the early 80's and big-screen production values. The first segments are bad. The Spielberg segment is Spielberg at his most agonizingly sentimental. I would sooner shit out my dick than watch that again.

    It's the last two segments that save it from being awful - the third story lacks the desperation and terror of its ancestor, but it makes up for it with a loopy, childlike insanity and more affection…

  • Rampart 2011

    ★★½ Watched 21 Jul, 2014

    Committed, but absolutely exhausting. Woody Harrelson plays a dick. He's a dick to the police, he's a dick to the public. He's a dick to his family, he's a dick to pharmacists, he's a dick to hobos. Guy's a dick.

    This is going over a lot of well-tread ground from recent years - it's hard not to think of The Shield at about every turn. Thing with The Shield is, it had a framework of story for Vic Mackey to…

Popular reviews

  • Prince of Darkness 1987

    ★★★★ Rewatched 02 Oct, 2013

    Of all of John Carpenter's movies, this is his John Carpenteriest. Longtime fans can see all the points where he's homage-ing the shit out of himself and everything of which he's a big dorky fan.

    As a movie, it suffers a bit from promising too much. It's one thing to promise what it promises in the title, but the first 25 minutes are a stirring, profound-sounding discussion on the way "classical reality" breaks down on a subatomic level and that…

  • Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare 1991

    Rewatched 02 Dec, 2012

    Squanders a good leading lady and a batshittedly apocalyptic premise (it's ten years in the future and Freddy has killed or driven insane the whole town!) on a movie that out-sillies part 4. You might not think that is possible, but there's a scene here where he kills one of his victims by putting him in a 1991-looking video game where a 1991 computer Freddy whips him with a towel - while the victim's sleeping body bounces around the house…