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  • Homefront 2013

    ★★½ Watched 22 Apr, 2014

    What's worse than ten minutes of Jason Statham with long hair? 90 minutes of Jason Statham wearing a baseball cap. Nobody can rock the head-stubble like you, Jason Statham. Rock that shit. Don't hide it under a goddamn baseball cap.

    Look at that American flag he's draped in on that poster! Oh my, Homefront is an heir to the kind of flyover-state (but B+ production value) action movie heritage of Road House and Stone Cold. It's got Statham doing the…

  • Prince Avalanche 2013

    ★★ Watched 21 Apr, 2014

    Nice score. It's very soothing. One could drift peacefully off to sleep with it.

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  • Prince of Darkness 1987

    ★★★★ Rewatched 02 Oct, 2013

    Of all of John Carpenter's movies, this is his John Carpenteriest. Longtime fans can see all the points where he's homage-ing the shit out of himself and everything of which he's a big dorky fan.

    As a movie, it suffers a bit from promising too much. It's one thing to promise what it promises in the title, but the first 25 minutes are a stirring, profound-sounding discussion on the way "classical reality" breaks down on a subatomic level and that…

  • Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare 1991

    Rewatched 02 Dec, 2012

    Squanders a good leading lady and a batshittedly apocalyptic premise (it's ten years in the future and Freddy has killed or driven insane the whole town!) on a movie that out-sillies part 4. You might not think that is possible, but there's a scene here where he kills one of his victims by putting him in a 1991-looking video game where a 1991 computer Freddy whips him with a towel - while the victim's sleeping body bounces around the house…