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Vampire in Brooklyn 1995
1988-present day is a weird time in Earth's history when Eddie Murphy could be completely upstaged by Kadeem Hardison.
This movie's plot in completely tired and boring and, but it's a take on/parody of Dracula, so I guess it has to be. Eddie Murphy is serviceable as Max, the vampire, but he's kinda kinda funny as the preacher and he's bewildering as the Italian mobster. John Witherspoon basically reprises his role as the dad from "Friday" here for some reason.…
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Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter 2012
This movie is totally beautiful and the action is fun to watch and looks great (even if it relies way too much on ripping off The Matrix) and there's a ton of violent, over the top gore.
But it's missing something.
While I was watching this, I thought it needed a lighter tone or more comedy because this movie is surprisingly heavy with little to no comedic relief. But I think the serious tone maybe keeps the absurd premise grounded,…
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Hostel: Part III 2011
This is pretty different from the first two and looks cheap, sure. But it's not so bad. Things could be a lot worse.
In the room where there's all these clothes that the killers can choose to wear while torturing kids, one of the choices in the background is Freddy's sweater. So that's cool.
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Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters 2013
I don't think Fede Alvarez's "Evil Dead" was very influenced by Sam Raimi's style or movies, but this certainly is!
This has a lot of the elements that made Evil Dead 2 and Army of Darkness fun. Gore, cool effects, a bizarre fantasy world, a great pace, etc.
The one thing this movie doesn't have is interesting lead characters, though. I wish someone would have told Jeremy Renner that this movie was supposed to be fun cuz he just plays…
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The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen 2003
This movie is so fun. I'm a big fan of the comics and all the books this is based on (I haven't read 2,000 Leagues, though), so I was excited for this movie to come out and I still watch it a lot. There's a lot of fun interactions between these iconic, legendary characters like Nemo warning Jekyll to control himself and the Mina/Dorian stuff is fun.
the pace of the movie is great, the action is fun to watch, Nemo slicing up a mutant hulk is awesome.
I'll forever be sad they never made the sequel where the League fights Martians. Oh well...
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Daybreakers 2009
Like many other reviewers, I'm torn on this. I love this concept and I love the world that's been created here. We start out where a lot of other sci fi vampire action movies end. What if the bad guys from "Blade" or "Buffy" succeeded and vampires became the top species on Earth? Whenever this movie is showcasing the minutiae of this world, it succeeds. The day to day life of a vampire society is fun to watch here and…
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Live Free or Die Hard 2007
So, I guess in 2007 Bruce Willis built a time machine and went back in time and met his young self and his young self was a dick to his old self so then the old self came back to 2007 and made this movie to ruin the legacy of his young self for revenge.
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Queen of the Damned 2002
Townsend is better at being Lestat than Tom Cruise was, but this whole movie is so silly and tries too hard to pander to fans of "The Crow" and weird gothy nu metal and stuff.
Aaliyah fucking rules, though. Her scene in the vampire bar is pretty cool.
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Star Trek III: The Search for Spock 1984
The Klingon leader keeps telling Kirk that he wants "Genesis" and it made me giggle to think that Klingons are huge Phil Collins fans.
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Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan 1982
Wrath of Khan > Into Darkness
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Star Trek 2009
This is a totally fun action movie. I think I'd probably like it more if I was into Star Trek. Both of these new movies kind of rely on you already knowing/loving these characters because they don't spend a lot of time talking, just punch fighting and lazer fighting and spaceship fighting.
Nero is probably the lamest villain in the history of cinema, though. He's so bland and is clearly just there to have a bad guy in the movie.…
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Star Trek Into Darkness 2013
This review reportedly contains spoilers. I can handle the truth.
