Aliens vs Predator: Requiem 2007 ½

So the first AVP was terrible. But it was also funny, which makes up for a lot in those kinds of movies. I was forewarned that Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem had no such saving grace, but I pressed onwards regardless. What a fucking idiot. If I ever meet Colin & Greg Strause (here credited as "The Brothers Strause," in an act of completely unwarranted pretension), I'm going to ask them how it feels to make a film without a single memorable character, line, or moment. I can't imagine it feels good. AVP:R is an irredeemable venture that looks awful, takes itself far too seriously, spends way too much on waste-of-space human characters, and lacks any kind of cleverness or ingenuity. There aren't even any ridiculous bits of what-the-fuckery. Just relentless, monotonous noise. Awful, awful, awful.

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