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  • Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

    Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them 2016

    ★★ Watched 20 Nov, 2016

    Well you can show me where to find them, but you can't make me care...

  • Jack Reacher: Never Go Back

    Jack Reacher: Never Go Back 2016

    ★★½ Watched 17 Nov, 2016

    Here's a good test of whether or not you're a good director: if at one point, your hero tells the antagonist that he's going to break their arms, their legs, and their neck, do you:

    A) Have the hero break the antagonists arms, legs, and neck, thereby giving the audience a satisfying payoff;

    B) Maybe have that happen, but hold the camera so close and edit the scene so haphazardly that the viewer can't tell whether the hero actually did…

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  • The Hitcher

    The Hitcher 1986

    ★★★★ Watched 31 Oct, 2012 1

    I'm not entirely sure this movie makes any sense whatsoever.

    Could not matter less. Rutger Hauer is the God damned devil in this one.

    Highly recommended.

  • Celebrity

    Celebrity 1998

    ★★ Watched 17 Jul, 2012

    Holy lord, this might be one of the toughest sits I've ever had as a viewer. Kenneth Branagh does an uncanny job of mimicing Woody Allen's verbal tics and mannerisms, and completely forgets to add anything resembling charm or humor. It might be the technically perfect yet abominably awful performance in the history of cinema. Judy Davis plays her neurotic character so over-the-top that I think it gave me a cerebral hemorrhage. Everyone else (and it's a very impressive cast)…