I'm already not much of a Star Trek fan, so a revamped, shiny new model could only attract new fans, right? Turns out it's excessively dumb, but nice eye-candy nonetheless.

I don't know what I was expecting, but it did not deliver anything new. How do you get the theatrical and verbally expressive Werner Herzog as your villain and then crushingly disappoint with how you use him? Cruise is not a character either. His name is Jack, but he is playing Cruise the superhero. Nothing special.

What can possibly be added to this genre-shattering classic? Nothing. Hitchcock's visionary peak.

So the geek culture climax peaked here, didn't it? At least we'll have this reminder of how pandering with every single detail does not make for a smooth transition to the big screen.